Emma

The year before school is so important for young children. It’s where they learn the skills to develop the confidence they need to make a smooth transition to school. If you are the parent of a three or four-year-old then you are probably already starting to consider what your options are for kindergarten (also known as preschool) for 2019. For first time parents it can be a little overwhelming wrapping your head around the different options – Government run programs, sessional ELCs or kindergarten at a centre-based long day care service. For a government preschool you also need to consider your ‘catchment area’ (or sometimes called ‘school zone’) and priority / wait lists may apply. Then cross your fingers and wait to see if you will be offered a place. Not to mention the added challenge of the traditionally limited kindergarten hours – either ‘sessions’ or a ‘full 9-3 day’, maybe 2.5 days per week or perhaps a five-day fortnight. If both you and your partner are working than this these inflexible hours can be hard to accommodate. This is when a kindergarten program in a centre-based long day care setting has its perks. You get wraparound care for up to 12 hours a day, so your child can attend kindergarten with the flexible longer hours you need. Plus, thanks to the new Child Care Subsidy if you attend a kindergarten program at a centre-based long day care service you may be entitled to 36 hours of subsidised care per fortnight. And even better is that families don’t need to meet the new activity test in order to qualify for this subsidy payment – that means that regardless of how much work or recognised activity you and your partner do, you can still receive payments to offset the cost of kindergarten at a centre-based long day care service. To find out if you meet eligibility requirement take a look at the government fact sheet. But most importantly you want to ensure your child is attending a high quality kindergarten program. Kindergarten is an important year in which children develop many of the skills they need for school. So, what makes a good kindergarten program? The year before school is all about school-readiness, and high quality kindergarten programs combine a strong play-based government approved curriculum with the skill of degree qualified teachers to achieve just that. A high quality program helps children become school ready by developing their:• Physical health and wellbeing• Social competence• Emotional maturity• Language and cognitive skills• Communication skills and general knowledgeThese are the areas against which the Australian Early Development Census measures children in their first year of school. High quality kindergarten programs are geared towards helping children develop the foundational skills they need for a smooth transition to school. A program delivered through play-based learning makes it active and fun for children and helps them develop an openness to learning that lasts well into adult life. Thanks for the team at Goodstart Early Learning for helping us to unpack the ins and outs of kindergarten. @goodstartel goodstart.org.au

Parental Listening & Language I am not in the business of giving parents who are already stretched thin, more to do or more to feel like they’re failing at. However, I am interested in sharing my knowledge to assist parents and their children, not to DO MORE, but instead empower them with the choice to do things differently and sometimes perhaps even doing less! For example, as a parent you can strengthen your relationship with your child by using different words when communicating with them. This may sound simple but requires us to actively choose to stop reacting on autopilot (habits which we can be largely unaware of) and engage with our child in a new and different way in the present moment. Rather than jumping in with our parental wisdom and/or frustrations, we can learn a lot by zipping it (which is much easier said than done)! When we remain silent and actively listen to our children many things can happen: We take the pressure off ourselves to instantly respond to our child. We give ourselves time (sometimes one breath is all we need), which allows us space to make a choice about whether to react based on habit or try a different approach that may serve our child and ourselves better. We get a chance to turn down the volume on what’s pushing our buttons and choose to manage our own emotions before responding to our child. It gives us a chance to see and hear our child in the present moment, openly gather information to increase our understanding and empathy. Our child experiences us as seeing and hearing them and overall feels more accepted and worthwhile. Listening to our children is important from birth: watching our babies cues and working out their different cries, reading our toddlers sign language or deciphering their words (that no-one else would understand), listening to our children and teenager’s words (or grunts) in the context of their individual personalities and circumstances. The next point applies to not only our children but also to ourselves: LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS! We all have basic needs such as being fed and rested. Children (and most adults) cannot engage in a meaningful way with others if they are hungry or exhausted, so do your best to regularly feed them and assist them to get enough sleep (easier said than done I know). Then we need to be aware of our children’s development and match what we expect from them with what they are actually capable of. An understandable and common want for parents is for their toddler to spontaneously share, which sets the toddler up to fail as they are developmentally unable to do this on their own, but rather need support with this complex social skill. Another common belief we hold as parents is that if a child is capable of a certain behaviour they will consistently behave this way – I am capable of acting rationally and calmly but I most certainly do not behave this way consistently! Children will develop new skills but they take time to consistently master them, and even then, if they are under stress they will not always be able to access them (just like us). We can offer our children the gift of compassion by moving away from pressuring them to reach our expectations towards accepting them for who they are. Rather than shutting down our children’s expression of big emotions, especially negative ones, we can choose to ‘be with’ them in their feelings. Our children do not benefit from us dissolving alongside them – which results in both parent and child ending up in the bottom of an emotional hole. Nor do they benefit from us instructing them to pull their socks up and get on with things – denying the existence of any emotions. They need us to see their pain and validate their experience without judgement, resist your need to ‘fix’ things for them and sit alongside them while they process their negative feelings. As a parent I can feel worn down by the constant nagging and repetition of statements that start with “No…” and “Don’t …..”. I’m under no illusion that the nagging will stop but if we can choose to make statements that focus on the behaviour we would like to see, at least our children are hearing more positively worded phrases which include hints on what to do versus what not to do. For example, swapping: “stop jumping on the couch” with “couches are for sitting on” “don’t throw the ball at your brother’s head” with “throw the ball to mum” “No more lollies” with “If you’re hungry, have some fruit” Parents can also help their children to make better choices by providing simple explanations of why they would benefit from them. For example: “If you break the couch we’ll have to buy a new one which you will be contributing to and there will be less money to buy your birthday presents with” “because your brother is too little he may get hurt, but mum would like to play with you” “If you eat too many lollies your teeth and body will get sick” Listening more (saying nothing) along with saying things differently can strengthen your relationship with your child. Taking notice and supporting our children with their thoughts and feelings takes practice and patience. Undoubtedly, in the heat of many parenting moments we will slip back into our old reactive ways – and that is ok. Remembering we need to lower the expectations we set for of ourselves along with those we hold for our children. Facebook – @hannabeavenpsychologyInstagram – @hannabeavenpsychologyWebsite – www.hannabeavenpsychology.com.au

Whether it’s a media beat up or, as the morning news will have us believe we really are living through a bullying epidemic, we just can’t deny that the issue of bullying is real. It has evolved over time and is now impacting children in ways never seen before.It’s in our best interest to be well aware and involved in the online life of our children to ensure that we are taking all steps possible to keep Cyber Bullies out of our child’s lives. Technology is often made the scapegoat for the rise in Cyber Bullying, we know that bullying is more about values and behaviour than it is about choice of weapon. We need to give our children the support and tools to behave respectfully online and protect themselves from potential risks. Teach good values Empathy, respect and resilience are key to a positive online environment. Model these values and find examples in day-to-day life, in stories, tv programs, movies and people that they know. Tell some stories of your own. Highlight and discuss what these values look like in action. Find examples of your children showing behaviours that are inline with these values. Give them positive feedback on what they did and how they did it. Talk about Cyber Bullying Ask them if they know anyone who has been cyber bullied, or is a cyber bully. Discuss various possible scenarios and solutions. And most importantly, let them know that the same rules apply to online bullying as they do for bullying in say, a schoolyard. Don’t be a bystander. If they see or hear of anyone who is being bullied online, they need to tell a trusted adult and encourage their friend to get help. It’s also important for them to show a position of support if they feel safe to do so, remind them that their one supportive comment could make all the difference to a victim in distress. Teach them how to respond We need to give our children the tools to manage the situation. Avoid escalating the situation by retaliating as this can further provoke the bully; online bullies hope to get a reaction. So, the first step is to ignore. Teach children how to block, report and delete. Most social media platforms have rules that will ban cyberbullying and will have tools that will allow you to ask for something to be removed, sometimes called the report button. If this is not done within 48 hours you can then take your complaint to Esafety and they will follow this up with the social media platform. They can also help your child find someone to talk to and give advice and strategies. Save the evidence by taking a screen shot, while this can be overwhelming and intrusive, it is important. If the bullying is taking place via email and is continuous it may be necessary to change email addresses. If the bullying still continues, you may consider contacting your local police to help manage the situation. Understand how they are using the internet It’s no longer acceptable to say that we can’t keep up and children have surpassed us where technology is concerned. Some social media sites are safer than others. Get to know them, download them yourself and have a good browse, talk to your children about what they use and the advantages and disadvantages. Some social media apps have guides for parents and if they don’t it’s not hard to find them online. Keep them connected If children raise an online issue with you, it’s important not to take them offline. This is their world. Staying connected with supportive peers is important to recovery and building resilience. Banning them from their devices is like isolating them from friends, it will feel like a punishment and therefore will discourage them from coming to you with a problem the next time something occurs. Have a family agreement about internet use at home This will open the lines of communication and give guidelines to enable a conversation that is purely centred around online safety, and as a result a common understanding of acceptable behaviour. Keep devices out of the bedroom While this might seem like a no brainer to some, if this family rule is not put into place when children are first introduced to devices this can be quite a challenge, especially with teenage children who are in need of more privacy as they get older, and habits that are well engrained. Things happen online late at night and when a notification goes off, as adults we know all too well how difficult it is to resist the temptation to check it. Model this behaviour for your children, the benefits will far outweigh the inconvenience. It might be a tough adjustment, but well worth it. Whilst we can never completely control our what happens online or what our children are privy too, putting these steps in place can help you feel comfortable that your children know what to do when it comes to cyber bullying and give you peace of mind that you have done what you can do make them aware, educated and feel safe and supported should issues arise. @cybersafefamilies cybersafefamilies.com.au

Did you know research has found that friendly bacteria in dirt and mud cantrigger the release of serotonin? A wonderful chemical that helps to regulatemood. Mud can, literally, make kids happy yet parents often cringe at thethought of it. The dirty footprints, filthy bathtub and extra washing areenough to make anyone daydream about scrapping mud from the outdoorplay agenda. But, with International Mud Day just around the corner, it’s theperfect time to overlook the mess. In the second issue of Wild Ones magazine, Nature Play SA share thebenefits of mud for healthy sensory development, as well as tips and tricksto incorporate it into outdoor play. Even if you prefer to operate at a slower(cleaner) speed, there’s something for the whole family to enjoy – like thismost magnificent mud pie recipe. Friday the 29th of June, why not line thekiddos up for an International Mud Day mud pie bake-off? If you’d rathernot get your hands dirty, you can always pick the flowers. Most Magnificent Mud Pie Recipe Ingredients◆ 1 cup of dirt◆ 1⁄2 cup of water (added as needed)◆ Fresh herbs ground in mortar and pestle(plus extra for garnish)◆ 3 sprigs of lavender◆ A selection of twigs◆ Mixed leaves◆ Flowers for decoration (whole or petalsremoved)◆ Your own secret ingredientOptional Extras◆ Feathers, shells or natural treasures◆ Children’s waterproof onesies fromNature Play SAMethod◆ Mix, stir and decorate to create your ownmost magnificent mud pie.◆ Hose down waterproof onesie, run a bathand enjoy a warm drink together. Cubby Town Hands up if you joined the fun at Nature Play SA’s Forest Festival at Kuitpo Forest in April? Their next popular event, Cubby Town, is returning to Belair National Park in the winter school holidays 17 + 18 July. WIN TICKETS HERE Purchase here – they won’t stick [excuse the pun] around for long! Nature Play SA is a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to inspiring communities to engage children with nature through outdoor learning and play. Find out more about their Wild Ones magazine and Family Membership at natureplaysa.org.au Photography by Jason Tyndall 

The latest buzz Honey bees have long played a part in children’s popular culture, way back from Do-Bee in Romper Room to today’s popular TV characters, Buzzby and Maya the Bee. If you ask a child what bees do, they’ll probably be quick to tell you that they make honey. Which of course is correct – for European honey bees. But the City of Adelaide are keen to raise awareness about the important role that our less-famous native bees play. Why are native bees important? In Adelaide, there are more than 200 species of native bees and they play an important role in the effective pollination of native flowering plants. Many of these plants cannot be pollinated by introduced bees, such as the European honey bee or bumblebee. Some native bee species are also great at pollinating some of the plant species that have been introduced to Australia. Australian farmers rely heavily on honey bees to pollinate crops. In fact, bees pollinate almost 80 per cent of our food! However, some species of native bees, like the Blue banded bee variety, can be better pollinators for some plants (like the tomato) than European bees. Blue banded bees use a technique called ‘buzz-pollination’ that shakes pollen from flowers – several plant species require a vibration for its flowers to release their pollen. Because some native bees have this ability they can make our tomatoes taste better! Around the world, bee populations are in severe decline. In Australia, native bees are threatened by scarce food sources, a lack of suitable habitat, the use of herbicides and pesticides, climate change, and competition with the European honey bee for food. Having a diversity of pollinating species in abundance helps maintain healthy ecosystems, and a healthy planet! Let them Bee! Most native bees tend to live alone, they might prefer homes in wood, gaps between rocks, the stem of plants or even underground. Typically, they are not protecting a hive, so they tend to be less aggressive and you are less likely to be stung by a native bee. The native bees that do build hives are stingless. In any case, it is wise to always take care around bees and keep your distance where possible. So, what’s the buzz in Adelaide? Teaming up with several local councils and the Adelaide and Mount Lofty Ranges Natural Resources Management Board, the City of Adelaide has joined a global movement to protect and increase native bee populations. The project so far has involved: educating the community on what native bees need for food and nests, how to build native bee nests in your own community (affectionately known as ‘Native Bee Hotels’ or ‘Native Bee BnBs’), installing bee hotels at several places along the River Torrens during community ‘Working Bees’, and planting special gardens to attract the bees. There will be three native bee hotels around the city for families to visit with two along the River Torrens and one in Wirraninthi (GS Kingston Park). The native bee hotels will be an opportunity for you to possibly spot and learn more about the bees, and see what flowers they are attracted to. Things to Do at Home to Attract More Bees GARDENING TIPS: ◆ Plant more bee food!– native plants that flower from early spring to late autumn– buzz-pollinated native plants such as Solanum,Hibbertia and Dianella species. Also, veggie gardenplants such as tomatoes, eggplants and potatoes. ◆ Cut back on mulch – bare ground is important forsome bees that dig burrows as their homes. ◆ Minimise your use of weed barriers (i.e.black plastic in gardening). ◆ Leave some areas of the garden free of vegetation. ◆ Include plants with pithy vines or canes –bees can live in these structures. ◆ Limit pesticide use – this will kill bees and other wildlife. ◆ Mow your lawn less often. INSTALL A ‘NATIVE BEE BNB! ◆ These are artificial nests with cavities to house bees. ◆ The aim is to replicate a variety of different typesof habitat that bees like, for example:– dry dead material with various sizedholes like bamboo, wood, pithy stems– create small holes in wood, bricks etc.– paper straw bundles. ◆ The hotels must be kept dry and preferablyshaded, out of direct sunlight. If you would like to find out more information about the native bee hotels and how you can attract native bees to your own backyard visit cityofadelaide.com.au/native-bees for all the details.