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You could be forgiven for having looked at Osher Gunsberg through rose coloured glasses over the last couple of decades. One of Australia’s most loved faces, with a mile-wide grin, gravity defying (occasionally questionable) hair and most recently, the wrangler of the roses for The Bachelor Australia, he’s a guy who, one might assume, had it all. During the height of his career success however, Osher (formerly known as “Andrew G”) was falling apart behind the scenes. Struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, paranoid delusions, weight issues and addiction, things weren’t quite so rosy. Osher has opened up about his ongoing struggle with mental illness in his raw, disarmingly honest and powerful memoir “Back after the Break”, which delves into the complexities of the human mind, how our thoughts drive our behaviour and how the path to positive mental health is challenging, but absolutely possible. We chat with Osher about life with mental illness, being a step dad and (pardon the reckless use of stereotypical reality TV jargon) his journey towards recovery and sharing his story. Can you tell us about the process of writing the book? At what point in your recovery did you decide you were going to write a book about what you’d been through? I’ve been sober for eight and a half years, and it was during the first few years of sobriety that I first learned the power of hearing someone share their story, and the power that I had to share my own story once I was up to it. I noticed that the more authentically I shared my story, the more powerful it was for others. It really helped me when I heard someone else share their story, profoundly, and I just wanted to be a part of doing that for someone else. I’ve found that since writing the book I’m having two main points of feedback, one is “oh wow, except for the interviewing Madonna parts, that’s pretty much how it is for me, I thought it was just me”. The other one is “oh my goodness, my wife or husband or daughter or son or dad has talked about this but I never understood it, until I read this book” and I’m so grateful that that’s the effect the book has had upon people because that is precisely the reason that I wrote it. People all over Instagram are posting images of themselves reading “Back after the Break” which you’ve been reposting in your own Instagram stories. How surreal is that for you, seeing all of these different people, in different parts of Australia or the world, sharing their moments reading your book? It’s pretty interesting. For me, when I see the book in other people’s hands, it is a profound demonstration that thoughts become things. This is beneficial in positive ways in our lives and negative ways. If you have a brain that has a tendency and a great skill for ruminating anxiety, and you then take action based on those thoughts, that will eventually manifest into things based upon those thoughts. If those things are based mostly in fear, then that’s what you’ll end up with. This can be quite negative for you and the people around you. That’s all we really are as humans, the result of repeated habitual actions that we take in any direction. To see my book in the hands of someone on the beach in Rarotonga, it’s incredible. All I did was write it a word at a time, all I did was edit it a word at a time, and then someone hit go on a printing press and a whole bunch of people got enrolled, and it’s extraordinary. We need to appreciate that as humans we have this super power, that we can manifest thoughts into things, and that’s what sets us aside from other species on this planet. We can either create incredible things that benefit each other, or horrible things that can destroy us, our relationships and each other. I’ve definitely experienced both. I’ve experienced the result of when repetitive thoughts manifest into very negative things and then, seeing someone reading my book in Central Park or Croatia on the beach, well that’s pretty good. So, it’s nice that it can work in the other way. How have you found the response to the book thus far? Overall, it’s been extraordinarily positive. I’m very grateful that I’m in a position to do this. I’ve worked for a long time to get to this platform, to have this opportunity now to speak about something that is so important, not just to me, but to everybody. One in four people in this country lives with complex mental illness. That is not necessarily just the people who are living with it in between their ears, but also the people living around them; husbands, wives, fathers, daughters, employers, employees. It’s so important to share this stuff. The reaction can be intense sometimes. I’ve done quite a number of events for the book now and people talk to me about their experiences with mental illness, and it might be the first time they’ve ever disclosed this information to anyone and you’ve got to respect that. I’m a TV host and a broadcaster and a podcaster, not a psychologist, so all I can do is validate and check to make sure people are ok, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of that. In the book you talked about your experiences as a “fat kid”. Do you think that self-conscious feeling ever really leaves you? It is definitely something that stays with you. Body dysmorphia is a very powerful and strange thing. I was in Weight Watchers when I was 8. Even after being the very first vegan on the cover of Men’s Health and being as ripped as anything on that cover, my wife Audrey will tell you (and she giggles every night when I do it) that I still brush my teeth with my

When two is enough. Picture this: an old home, blooming with character and brimming with stories of the past lives, lived within its walls. A frangipani tree flowers the façade and an old caravan sits patiently in the driveway, awaiting its next adventure. The house nestles snugly into its country landscape while the smell of the nearby ocean fills its red-brick lungs. Three kids play out the back at dusk, swinging on an old tyre hung from a sturdy, old oak tree. Watching on from the kitchen window, Mum and Dad listen to an old vinyl, sip on red wine and make pizzas from scratch to be devoured under moonlight beneath that same Oak tree. Sounds pretty good right? I wrote that description a few years ago before the birth of my first child, in the hopes of manifesting a similar future. I still desire everything that narrative depicts, except one: I am pretty sure that after having two kids, I am well and truly done. The romantic notion of a tribe of five has been stomped on by the beautiful chaos that is two kids. The leap from one child to two has been so much bigger than I ever could have imagined. I have found it so deeply challenging, so utterly exhausting but I have also been left feeling completely content. Sure, the sleepless nights were to be expected but what I was unprepared for was just how relentless this Mothering gig was to become. It Does. Not. Stop. There is zero personal space and zero down time. You are juggling the needs of two (in my case, very different) individuals who completely rely on you for their survival. Getting out the door in the morning is an hour long process that requires supreme negotiation skills, peak cardio fitness and a strong-ass coffee. Juggling naps requires military precision and the bedtime routine will literally have you on your knees. Pass the wine! And just when you think you’ve got them all figured out, they will simultaneously, self-combust in a public place and remind you exactly who is boss. Like I said: deeply challenging and utterly exhausting. But don’t despair. Remember that other thing I said about being completely content? For me, that’s true too. Witnessing my daughter soothe her crying baby brother for the first time with a loving kiss on his forehead will be etched in my mind forever. Seeing the way my son’s face lights up when his big sister enters the room gives me mini heart explosions on the daily. And watching them happily play together and look out for each other while they don’t know I’m looking, makes me so proud to be their Mum. Loving them is easy, but loving me? Not so much. Being a Mother is all-consuming and in these early years of my children’s lives, there has been little time for me. After almost three years of being either pregnant, or breastfeeding, or both, I am ready to start putting a little more time back into loving and caring for myself. I look forward to my body being mine again, to prioritising some much needed alone time and to be able to put some energy into work and projects that light me up. To have a third child would mean putting all of these things on hold and for the sake of my children, my husband and my own mental health, that’s just not a sacrifice I am willing to make. Some families may want more, some families may want less. But for my family, four of us, is just enough. And what about that red wine-sipping, vinyl-listening, pizza-making Mum and Dad I mentioned earlier? Now, it’s their time: to get their groove back, and start dancing in the kitchen again. And as we edge towards our second-born’s first birthday, we are starting to see glimpses of a life less dictated by nap schedules and feed times and more conducive to moonlight dinners and impromptu weekend adventures. Now we just need to buy that caravan. @dannii.odonnell Image by @georgykeenphotography

Why Having a Baby Doesn’t Need to be a Career Speed Bump We are lead to believe that you’re inevitably faced with a choice; motherhood or your career and that popping your career on hiatus is just one of the endless sacrifices you sign up for when you decide to bring life into this world. As someone who is living the shuffle, I can verify that choosing to have a child doesn’t necessarily equate to a career speed bump. It’s a new world out there and now, more than ever, we’re in a position to be able to have our cake and go back for seconds (cos, treat yo self). You might sacrifice your nipples, but you don’t have to sacrifice your career. You might find (like I did), that your career is growing at a time when we’ve been conditioned to think that it should be put on hold or slowing down. From the moment I saw that elusive little plus sign on the pregnancy test, I was giddy with equal parts excitement and nerves about this new chapter. As the reality and morning sickness settled in I soon began thinking,”So what does this mean for my business?” I remember being apprehensive of clients reception to the news. I wanted to reassure them that I was up for the challenge as long as they were happy to back me. Fortunately, the vast majority of them didn’t skip a beat in offering their support and congratulations moving forward. The only ones that did have concern that I would be inept late and post pregnancy were other women. I recall one meeting in particular; “We’ve decided to take marketing in-house. I just think it’s going to be easier once you have a baby. You just won’t be able to cope with the workload.” I remember leaving this conversation feeling incredibly irritated at this patronising assumption and thinking to myself, “Don’t judge my abilities based on your own limitations.” There are a lot of people who will always judge what you can do based on what they can’t do. Why can’t I rock up to a meeting with a baby? Why can’t I continue running a business from home? As pregnancy wears on and your belly pops, you become a pregnant woman. People struggle to identify anything else about you other than your belly. I wanted to remind people that just because you’re pregnant doesn’t meant that you’re incapable of caring about other things. Behind that belly, Reyes and all her knowledge is still in there, she’s just hidden behind a whole lot of baby bump and a handbag full of snacks. During late pregnancy I saw that the Garden of Unearthly Delights was in need of a digital marketing manager. This had been a project I had always wanted to work on. On a whim, I shot through my details and threw my hat into the ring for the job and was shocked to be called up for a meeting. As I went into the meeting; round with the final weeks of pregnancy, waddling, and slightly sweaty, I was delighted to see that the person who I was interviewing with had brought her young son along. This meeting was just the confirmation I needed that this was possible, you just need to surround yourself with the right people. Just like that, I landed one of my most intensive contract clients to date. I was dizzy with excitement (or it was time for a snack, I’m still not sure). Shortly after, I gave birth to Ziggy. Since birth, she has been by my side through everything. As I got into the swing of what a new day in the life of me looked like; (feeding on the go, little hands playing with my face as I discussed marketing plans) I quickly became comfortable with this role as a business owner slash mum. A lot of people say to me, “I don’t know how you do it” but the thing is, both of us don’t know any different. I felt this new confidence; I became more efficient, more hungry, and wanted to do the best and be the best as a way of thanking people for their support. Having a child alters your perception in many ways and certainly provides a great catalyst for reassessing what you want to give your precious time and energy to. As such, you’ll likely find yourself unapologetically prioritising; culling overtime that comes with no reward, bypassing projects that aren’t in line with what is important to you, and find yourself focussing more diligently on what you need to achieve. I feel incredibly privileged to be in the position that I am in and that I didn’t have to make that decision. Although it definitely has its challenges; having the flexibility to build my business and retain my sense of self, while contributing an income to the family is something I am truly grateful for. @thatreyes 

Wanna be a winning dad? There’s now a manual for that, thanks to Symon Jarowyj. It didn’t take long for Symon Jarowyj to realise he didn’t feature high on his daughter’s popularity list. Despite being primary nappy changer during the first six weeks of Neko’s life during his partner Natalie’s recovery from a caesarean, the Grace Emily pub part-owner soon learnt that when it comes to a kid’s priorities, it’s 1) mum, and then 2) everyone else. “When Neko was about two I started realising that whenever my mum or mother-in-law would come over, she’d show a lot more excitement than when I came home from work,” Symon explains. “I was getting a bit jealous and thinking, I’m not even in the top two in popularity anymore! So I started jotting down ideas of ways I could make things around the house more fun for her so she’d think I was a bit less boring. Like if I was doing the washing, I’d be smelling every item of clothing as she passed it to me and saying ‘pooo!’ to her in a really high voice and pulling a funny face or whatever, just to get a giggle.” As Symon’s list grew, chats with punters over the bar revealed more stark lessons all dads must learn in their little ones’ first years of life. The way your car requires a transformation into a fully-equipped baby supply vehicle. How daunting it is to wrap a baby for the first time when bringing them home from hospital. The fact that baby poo, at least initially, isn’t even that bad relative to its reputation. “I started thinking all these things would actually make a pretty funny little book,” Symon says. “Something for other dads to have so they can prepare for what’s coming, you know?” Symon talked the idea through with pub regular and mate, Josh Fanning – publisher of quarterly Adelaide magazine, CityMag – and he was soon onboard. “I liked the idea of a manual that was illustrated to look like an airport emergency landing card – something small and tongue-in-cheek, but something half-serious that identified those areas for dads on how they could do a better job,” Symon says. “Every dad book on the market tends to be 150-plus pages and it’s all good info, but I guess the majority of dads probably don’t really have the attention span. I just wanted something short and sharp that got dads thinking about how you can help out at home and the little things you need to do like cleaning the nest. I never knew about that stuff until my partner told me – like, ‘See this dust? I want it gone’. And you realise that if you clean the nest without your partner asking you, you’re gonna impress them, and she’s gonna think you’re up for the challenge and on the same page as her.” The final piece of the puzzle came last year when Josh introduced Symon to Adelaide illustrator Owen Lindsay, and The Winning Dad Manual was born. “I’d sort of give him an idea of what I wanted, but then Owen’s very clever at adding his own little jokes,” Symon says. “And because he doesn’t have kids he’s very good at giving that single man perspective. He did a cracking job.” Despite the book being a neat 51 pages and relatively light on text, The Winning Dad Manual manages to cram advice to cover all the important periods, from pre-game nerves, to infancy and to toddling. Perhaps more impressively though, it delivers really practical advice with a remarkable strike-rate of genuine lols (the diagrams of a child’s developing brain, for example, are on-point). While Symon doesn’t envisage too many men buying the book for themselves, he instead sees it as the perfect gift for any soon-to-be dad before they’re about to embark on their new adventure. And with daughter Neko having just turned four (and with another baby on the way), he’s clearly an authority on the perilous 0-3 age bracket. Now he’s just got to master the next three years. “We’re gonna do another one for ages three-to-six, so every three years there’ll be an updated manual,” Symon says. The Winning Dad Manual ($10.95) will initially be available at Imprints, Vintage Carousel, Streetlight Adelaide, Eccola and via online shop thewinningdadmanual.com Keep up-to-date with availability and stockists via Instagram @thewinningdadmanual    Images by Meaghan Coles Now and Then Photography

Homemade Sausage Rolls and Tomato Sauce Recipe and images by Annabel Bower Makes 72 1 onion, finely chopped or grated 1/2 sweet potato (300g), grated 1 apple, grated 1 zucchini, grated 1 carrot, grated 1/4 cauliflower, grated or 1 broccoli stalk, grated 1 clove of garlic, crushed 1 tsp cumin, ground (optional) 500g lean beef/ lamb/ pork mince 800g – 1kg sausage mince (from butcher) 6 sheets of shop bought puff pastry 1 egg, separated 1 tbsp sesame seeds Squeeze the excess liquid out of the grated apple, sweet potato and zucchini. Mix with onion, garlic, carrot, cauliflower/broccoli and cumin. Add the 2 minces. Mix thoroughly with your hands. Lay out your 6 sheets of pastry. Cut a centre line down each sheet of pastry to create 2 rectangles (12×24 cm). You will now have 12 pieces of pastry to work with. Brush this centre cut with egg white. Divide the meat + veg mix evenly in neat lines down the centre of your 12 rectangles. Roll the empty pastry over the meat mix tucking the outside edge underneath the edge painted with egg white. Cut each “log” into 6 bite size sausage rolls. Brush the tops with egg yolk and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Bake till crispy and golden at 200 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Make sure the bases aren’t soggy! Can be cooked and then frozen if you’re making them in advance. Homemade Tomato Sauce 1 cup passata 1 apple, peeled and grated 1 tbsp red wine vinegar 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp mild paprika Combine all ingredients and simmer for ten minutes. Stir the sides occasionally so that the sauce does not catch and burn. Allow to cool before blending with a stick blender or in a food processor. 
This will keep for up to one week in the fridge. Annabel Bower graduated from the world renowned Ballymaloe Cookery School in Ireland seventeen years ago. Annabel has since worked in events and catering and her present focus is on recipe development and food styling. As a mum of three and a passionate foodie Annabel spends most of her time in the kitchen! Her favourite people to cook for are friends and family and even though like all children her kids won’t eat everything she cooks, she is determined to keep trying and happily share a few of her failsafe, crowd-pleasing recipes with you! For more family friendly recipes follow @foodbyannabel

Keeping kids’ bedrooms or playrooms looking organised and styled is a much easier task if you incorporate functional, fun and stylish storage solutions. Here are Edited Interiors top organisation tips: Categorise toys and group like with like so they are easier to find and easier to put away. Use decorative baskets that tie into the existing styling of the room. Create a bench seat with room for storage underneath. (The Ikea Kallax cube storage is perfect for this). A decorative pillow on top creates extra seating and adds some colour and style the storage cubes underneath with decorative baskets or books. Felt pinboards are a great way to add a pop of colour to the room and are perfect for displaying treasured artworks, notes and photos. Make the most of the space underneath the bed and use trundle storage drawers. Trundle drawers make for a great LEGO storage zone. Add a kid’s dustpan to the drawer to help make the chore of packing up the LEGO at the end of the day more fun for your little one. If budget allows, consider built-in book cases and desks. Use book shelves to display your child’s favourite books. Add a bean bag or floor pillows underneath to create a reading nook or corner. If you have open shelving use baskets and boxes to keep things looking tidy. Make sure you are using the space within your children’s wardrobes effectively. Give the wardrobes an edit and voila: extra space for toys can usually be found. Label boxes and bins so the kids can easily find things and put them away. For more information on styling, and home organisation check out: editedinteriors.com.au @editedinteriors

Thoroughly Modern Mama When Lindy Klim started modelling in the late nineties – her lithe long limbs and exotic looks capturing the essence of modern Australia – she breezily mentioned in one of her very first interviews that she wanted to be a mother. “I want a big, huge family – I want four kids!” she recalls, laughing. Fast forward twenty years and Lindy is not only a mum of four, she is an accomplished businesswoman, fashion designer and the embodiment of modern parenthood. After a highly publicised marriage breakdown to Olympic swimmer Michael Klim, Lindy is happier than she has been in a long time. Together with new partner, property developer Adam Ellis, they welcomed a little girl, Goldie, into the world eight months ago. The newest addition to the Bali-based brood completes the family of photogenic siblings that include Stella, 12, Rocco, 10 and Frankie, 7. Funny and disarmingly honest, Lindy speaks of a very real and relatable kind of family life: the juggle of managing multiple after school activities, navigating a new journey into joint custody arrangements and becoming a blended family. Initially fearful of how it might all work bringing a new baby into the family unit, her fears were allayed the moment Goldie arrived. “Frankie in particular, is ‘obsessed’ with Goldie…but what’s nice is that there’s 3 kids that are the Klim’s, and now we’ve got Goldie and it’s just made our family closer and that’s really lovely,” she says. On being a blended family, Lindy explains they don’t talk about half-siblings, they’re simply brothers and sisters: “…we never say it, we never sort of mention it – sometimes there’s confusion over last names, but we’ll just manage that and get through it,” she says. With Stella approaching her teens, Lindy is parenting at both ends of the spectrum, changing nappies one minute and chaperoning her eldest daughter on her very first date the next. Having Adam step in and take on the role as stepdad has only strengthened their family bond. “Stella’s relationship with Adam is incredible. She’ll often text or call him before me, which is great as I know that sometimes I’m not always the best person to talk to.” she says. While becoming a mother again at 40 is physically more demanding than the first time around, the experience of already being a mother has certainly had its advantages. “When it’s your first, it can be so daunting and terrifying and you just don’t know what to expect. I think it’s been nice for Adam to see how my experience in having three other children before Goldie has made me so relaxed that it’s made it such a nice journey for the both of us.” It certainly hasn’t slowed her down either, with several projects in the pipeline, including her own burgeoning fashion label, Rama Voyage. The collection of dreamy, resort style linen separates are effortlessly wearable and evoke the very global, free spirited lifestyle you imagine her to have. “I want to set a really good example for my children. I want to work, I want things to be a success – I think it’s really important for them to see that. Having another child has definitely given me more courage to get things off the ground.” She has also recently taken on an ambassador role for Peanut, the app that’s just launched in Australia and designed to reflect modern motherhood. Described as ‘Tinder for mums’ it offers a smart, mobile solution to connect mothers during what can be an incredibly isolating experience. It’s a perfect fit for the busy mum, who credits Adam, her mum and support network in Bali as the ‘village’ helping to raise her tiny tribe in what’s been a hectic and intense few years. For now, the family are off on a new adventure together, heading to Europe and will spend time on a boat in Croatia. “Either the best or worst idea ever!” she laughs. With Lindy and Adam designing and building their new family home together and the older children happily attending Bali’s world renowned sustainability-focused Green School, it certainly seems that life really has begun at 40. Now armed with the emotional maturity to live her life with conviction, she’s learned to become more accepting of herself. “It has been difficult and there has been a big change in myself that I’ve noticed since turning 40 and having Goldie. I’ve found it’s better to concentrate on yourself and what your journey is. It’s been a really big lesson for me, but it’s been a really important one,” says Lindy. “I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time – it shows through the children, it shows through me. It’s beautiful. There’s nothing really worrying or troubling me – I feel really content.” Lindy’s TIPS for travelling with children: – Always make sure all your kids devices are fully charged before leaving! I’ve been caught out on this one before, so now I also like to travel with a power bank too, which is especially handy for any long haul flights. Just make sure you charge that one before leaving too! – Ensure you have downloaded any movies, shows or games fully – not only so they can actually watch in flight, but to avoid any international data shock on your return. – On a long haul flight, I like to pack a surprise small gift I can whip out at some point on the flight when I feel tensions rise. Nothing big, and preferably something relevant to the trip, like a new diary, they can use for the holidays. That way I can encourage them to start on it straight away or distract them, even momentarily. – Always pack spare clothes for everyone on your carry-on. It’s especially true now with Goldie and the myriad of accidents that occur with a baby or toddler, but also if your luggage gets lost or, there are delays and you need to freshen up. – Kid

She was 65. I am 36. In the darkened hours of the night when sleep won’t find me, but tears in the shape and colour of my memories haunt me, I have trawled the internet for articles on how to somehow cope with this so physical a loss of the woman who shaped me. As it happens, there are a lot of women out there on the world wide webstergram who have lost their mums, and yet somehow this is no solace, because when it’s your mum… it’s different. The world is changed. Colour is somehow less vibrant. Laughter slightly more hollow. You keep on going, because you have to, because you too are a mum… and mums never stop being mums. Until all of a sudden, they’re gone. I’ve never been one for advice giving, in fact usually my only recommendation would be to “do the opposite of whatever it is that I decided to do” because mostly, my life decisions land me in awkward social situations, or my skirt flying up on a public road or being heavy-handedly escorted out of McDonalds. But all the articles I have read, written by other women who have lost their mums, were painted with the retrospect of a few months, years even. When people have managed to compose themselves slightly, when the edge of the loss has softened a little, when life has quietly returned and acceptance has been garnered, as much as one ever can. But as I sit here and write this, not quite a week has past since my mum left us, and my pain is still both expansive and suffocating. And, whilst it’s not much, this is what I can offer anyone who, one day, is looking for some midnight solace because all of a sudden they are rudderless in a world where once they were someone’s daughter, and now they are not. 1. Apparently “just fuck me up” is not a proper coffee order at McCafe. #whoknew  2. No one is going to know what to say to you. Because there is no right thing to say. Losing a mother is, broadly speaking, unfamiliar terrain to navigate for women our age, so very few people will be able to offer you anything but commonplace platitudes that won’t seem to scratch the surface of what lies beneath. The person saying them to you usually knows this. It’s just enough that they care and they are trying, because they love you. And it’s that love from those around you that will get you through this. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. For me at least, the first wrong thing anyone said, was to not say anything at all. 3. Strangely enough, there are actually a handful of other wrong things that people might unexpectedly say because, and this comes as no surprise to me, some people are assholes. I had people less than 24 hours after my mum passed asking me what was “going to happen to her body” and “will there be a coronial inquest” (she died of an illness she wasn’t thrown off a cliff). I understand that some people have practical and pragmatic brains. Generally speaking, I don’t like these people. Unfortunately, you can’t avoid everyone you don’t like. 4. When your mum dies, you feel like a child again, and simultaneously like the oldest version of yourself. 5. You just need to do whatever you need to do to keep yourself sane. For me, it’s been camping on the couch in the living room all night watching 90 Day Fiance on catch-up because it’s the only thing in those midnight hours that keeps my thoughts at bay. This may or may not involve double coated Tim Tams. 6. You’ll probably get angry at random stuff. I have found myself yelling at the car radio “I don’t want to listen to this fucking song!!!” which had precisely nothing to do with the program director at 107.1 and everything to do with the fact that I hate the world right now and if that leaves me feeling personally victimised by Post Malone, then so be it. 7. All of a sudden you are a member of a club you didn’t know existed and you never wanted to be a part of. No one’s lining up to be a member of the “lost my mum” club, let me tell ya. And yet somehow this sorority does offer an understanding that even your closest friends might not be able to offer you. And these people know that this pain just doesn’t go away in two weeks. These are the people I imagine myself calling on in a months time, or two months time, when the world has moved forward and I am still somehow struggling with my new reality. 8. You’ll look for signs that she’s still with you. Some days will bring them. Some days won’t. If you’re anything like me, you’ll cling on to every little breath of wind, or rustle in the leaves, or unexpected birdsong that might mean she’s watching over you and saying silently I still see you. I’m still here. 9. There will be gifts that this brings to your life. She will give you these things. Whether it’s that your brother and you will become closer because of it. Whether it’s that it solidifies the love you have for your step father. She will not leave this world for nothing, she will leave knowing these blessings will come in her wake, because she loves you and she’ll never stop making sure you know it. 10. If you have young kids, like I do, you won’t get to just… grieve. Because there are shoes to be put on and lunches to make. Sometimes these distractions will be merciful and other times you’ll wish for just a minute to cry without someone needing you to wipe their ass for them. 11. Your children’s grief will make your heart catch. When your

Jake Dean: A Word From Dad  Hello, winter you gorgeous thing. Log fires, red wine (me), puddle stomping (kid). Yes, ’tis the season for hibernating on the couch with the footy. But it’s also classic day-trip territory: when normally dusty paddocks turn lush green, and the steaming coffee and pasties of far-flung bakeries just somehow taste better. Get out there and explore our winter wonderland, folks – before climate change sees us in boardies year-round! READ: BOY SWALLOWS UNIVERSE – By Trent Dalton Boy Swallows Universe is the debut novel from one of Australia’s best longform nonfiction writers, the Weekend Australian’s Trent Dalton, and it’s a genre-bending doozy. At its heart it’s a coming-of-age tale/love story, told from the perspective of witty 1980s Brisbane teenager Eli Bell, who’s forced to navigate some truly gnarly obstacles when his dysfunctional family’s involvement with violent drug traffickers catches up with them. The ambitious novel is much more than a gritty yet heartwarming family drama/crime tale, exploring the legacy of domestic violence, drug abuse, alcoholism, fate, hope, redemption and even magic. It’s super funny and a genuine page-turner too, with its twists and turns more than making up for a few lengthy bits and occasional sappy dialogue. Read it to see one of Australia’s best writers at work in fiction for the first time. I’m amped to see what else he’s got in him. Available from Dymocks Hyde Park (from July), $32.99 I’M AUSTRALIAN TOO – By Mem Fox Mem Fox – what a lord! If you’re like me, you haven’t read her books for yonks, but little did you know she’s been churning out kids classics on the reg like some ageless, genius, book-machine this entire time! Her latest titled I’m Australian Too, features gorgeous illustrations by Ronojoy Ghosh and depicts different versions of modern Australian families (e.g. Aboriginal, English, Vietnamese, Somalian and Syrian). The final of the 13 snapshots, featuring a starry-eyed girl behind a grey wall and barbed wire, packs a message many more of our compatriots should heed. I hope this book finds its way into as many kids’ hands as possible. Much recommended. Available from Dymocks, Hyde Park $19.99 WATCH: Annihilation (2018) Annihilation is a straight-to-Netflix blockbuster starring the inimitable Natalie Portman as Lena, a former soldier turned cellular biology professor. The sci-fi thriller sinks its claws in from the opening scene, when a dude in a hazmat suit interrogates Lena about the whereabouts of her colleagues after a failed mission. What follows is a twisting tick-tock flashback of their expedition into an abnormal and growing electro-magnetic field that has descended on a patch of idyllic national park. If you like your endings wrapped up in a neat little package, this isn’t for you. While it’s not a perfect film, it is thought-provoking, tension-laden (think Apocalypse Now), beautifully shot and, perhaps best of all, features an all-women team of scientists kicking butt, which isn’t something we see enough of. DO: Whale-watching season. We really are spoilt brats here in SA, with our world-class wine regions, unparalleled beaches and such. Another super cool thing we have that I routinely forget about is gigantic whales, and there’s no better time to see ’em than now. Love is in the air (or water) from May-October when whales migrate to SA to mate, give birth and nurse their young, and Victor Harbor is a primo spot to see dozens of species (including the majestic Southern Right). The South Australian Whale Centre has a handy map of whale-watching hotspots and a live sightings log to aid your search, so pack the kids and some binoculars into the car post-haste! And if you really want to wow the fam with a fun fact, Google how much a Southern Right Whale’s testicle weighs… good God. sawhalecentre.com.au Follow Jake on: Twitter: @JakeJDean Instagram: @byjakedean Blog: jake-dean.com

The Second Six Months Any parent knows that the first year of a child’s life is incredibly challenging. It’s filled with so many ups and downs. There’s that first precious, gummy smile, or that first giggle, both of which make your heart feel like it might actually burst open with joy. Then there are the poo explosions, the cracked nipples and of course, the sleepless nights. And you experience a tiredness that you never, ever knew was humanly possible. Those first few months as you navigate your way through the newborn haze are demanding, absolutely. There’s a reason it’s been dubbed, The Fourth Trimester. Friends and family rally together to cook meals, to help with the cleaning and check in regularly to make sure Mum (and Dad) can devote all their time to nurturing this tiny new member of the family. ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps,’ we are told. ‘There’s no rush to lose the baby weight,’ we are reassured. As a society we put a lot of emphasis on the fragility and importance of those early months in the life of a New Baby and a New Mother and rightly so. But what about the months that are to follow? Fast forward to the second half of the year, when the meals have stopped coming, the visitors have died down and there is no one is offering to do your dishes or hang out your washing. You’ve officially dropped off the ‘new baby radar.’ For me personally, it’s this second half of my baby’s first year that I find the most difficult. My post-birth high has dissipated and I’m no longer running on adrenalin but rather a heady mix of caffeine and sheer exhaustion. There seems to be an unrealistic expectation floating around in mothering circles and baby sleep books that your child should be sleeping through the night by now. Not mine. Multiple feeds through the night are still the norm and the sleep deprivation has really started to take its toll. Breastfeeding is no longer a time for sleepy snuggles and Mama/Baby bonding, but rather an act of self-defence in which I try desperately to save my hair being pulled from its roots or my nose being ripped from my face. Nappy changes resemble a wrestling match, where my Son comes out a winner and I come out with shit on my hands. An active baby now means I can’t let him out of my sight for a second. Gone are the days where I would leave him in the middle of the bed while I made myself a cup of tea or had a quick shower. These little rituals of self-care are now reserved for nap times only. And my indoor plants and other precious household objects have had to be removed from baby ‘grab level’ lest he ends up with a fist full of soil in his mouth or drops a salt lamp on his tiny toes. Naturally, my house is in a constant state of disarray. My dining table is consistently covered in a mountain of clean washing, just waiting (praying) to be folded and put away. I spend 80% of my life doing dishes in a kitchen that is somehow never clean and my shower hasn’t been scrubbed in weeks. But amongst all of this chaos there is also a hell of a lot of love, so much learning and discovering and an overwhelming feeling of contentment that comes from becoming a Mother. My point however, is this: being a Mum to a baby under one is a tough gig. Regardless of whether you struggle through those early newborn days, the second six months or the whole damn year, it does get easier. So be kind to yourself. Ask for help if you need it. And pour yourself a glass of wine, Mama. You’re doing just fine. @dannii.odonnell

Mariana Mezic is one busy mama. Her instagram bio reads: ‘mama, artist, she-wolf and part time unicorn’. She divides her time between a farm and a beach house with her super squad – husband Matt and their four kids Kiki (15), Polly (13), Felix (6) and Gracie (3). If that isn’t busy enough, she’s also responsible for three dogs, three cats and four horses. Oh, and she’s the talented artist behind the Adelaide Cabaret Festival’s 2018 artwork. “The struggle is real at this end,” Mariana laughs. “Matt copes with the chaos far better then I do, he keeps a level head, I let my hot European blood takeover a lot!” Coming from a large Croatian household, Mariana is all too familiar with chaotic and loud families. But when she fell pregnant at 30 with her first born, Kiki, the idea of parenting, or even having a big family, wasn’t something she had planned. “It was a happy possibility of perhaps ‘one day’ in my head. Then as the first two got older, the idea of a bustling household really appealed to me. When we moved to the hills we had two more because well, farm fresh air and no TV,” she laughs. It wasn’t long after the first two kids that Mariana started feeling the mum pressures of having it ‘all together’. However, over the 12-year age gap between the younger kids, she noticed the parenting landscape change. “I feel I can be more honest and open about the struggles of motherhood now. Nobody was talking about that back then. I felt very alone, very isolated and no voice to be honest about how hard it all was,” she admits. “The climate is different these days. People are encouraged to openly discuss the trials and tribulations of parenthood. I mean, motherhood is a sloppy, icky, drippy, sleep-deprived mess of emotions and struggles – and the most beautiful, heavenly, heart-bursting, stunning journey you’ll undertake.” And yes, the juggle is real. “It’s a constant juggle!” she exclaims. “One minute you’re dealing with teenage dilemmas and dramas and the next, the 3 year old has lobbed a block at her brother’s head.” “Dealing with a toddler and the constant demanding nature of them is polar opposites to dealing with the teens who go into themselves and become somewhat aloof. They do the eye rolling, suddenly have opinions and know it all.” In the spirit of juggling – and what mums do best – Mariana turns to her happy place – her art. It’s a talent that gives her energy to be a stronger, happier woman, and often represents where she’s at in her life. “It’s messy, it’s colourful, it’s crazy and intense. When I turn up to a white piece of paper, I’m not a mum or wife. I’m back to just me and I’ve found that so important to bring that back to mum life.” Inspired by life events, her artwork features fierce women as the hero – someone Mariana aspired to be. And something the Adelaide Cabaret Festival had their eye on. “The divine Ali McGregor (director of Cabaret festival) found my work on Instagram. Her theme for the festival was eyes open, and when you view my work the eyes are the first thing that grab you,” she explains. “She kindly asked if I’d be up for doing a painting for them and I screamed YES! To go from hanging up loads of washing to presenting my work to a whole city is an absolute thrill to say the least.” Between the kids, farm and her artwork, it’s easy to think Mariana ‘does it all’. But she’s quick to shut down that notion. “Ha! By no means do I do it all. Something always suffers. Sometimes my motherhood suffers and I’m not nearly as present as I need to be and mother guilt kicks in. Sometimes my art suffers when I dive into motherhood and feel the pressure to be one of these baking/knitting/active supermums who have it all running smoothly. I struggle with balance and perhaps I always will.” “The only thing we have here in spades is love for each other and that’s the only thing I will go into battle for, the rest is all a sloppy mess and I’m actually ok with that.” @marianamezic_artist marianamezic.com Images by Meaghan Coles Photography 

As a successful entrepreneur, lifestyle blogger, brand ambassador, television and radio host and mother of four children, one could be forgiven for wondering how Bec Judd could possibly find time to do more. On top of all that, Bec has recently launched her first book, The Baby Bible – the ultimate baby book for modern mums. How did you come about writing The Baby Bible? Writing a book is something that was always a distant goal. I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, but I’d always thought I’d love to write a book one day. Publishing the blog, I cover so many lifestyle areas, from fashion, beauty and food, to interiors and events. When I ended up having four children and started writing more about baby routines and feeding, I thought “this is my jam now, I know what I’m doing.” I don’t think you can quite write a book after you’ve had two babies, but after I had four I knew I was well qualified! Tell us a bit about the book and how new and pregnant mums can benefit from it? With a name like ‘The Baby Bible’, we really had to encompass the entire pregnancy and newborn baby journey. It’s a month by month guide, but it has my personal story interwoven into the months. My entire medical team have also contributed so it covers all the professional advice, as well as my story and lifestyle elements like recipes, lists and routines. It really is, I think, everything from the entire journey and I’ve told it in a very raw, honest, funny way that I think has been missing in baby books gone by. I wanted people to be able to really connect with my journey and relate it to theirs. How important was your dream team of medical experts in your pregnancies? So important! They were the team through all three of my pregnancies and I was very lucky to have them. Dr Len Kliman is one of the best obstetricians in the country and Dr Andrew Ngu is the global head of fetal ultrasound, so I was in the best hands. I’m a mad researcher so I researched a lot to find out what was happening with my body and how people could help me. As well as what was happening with the babies from a sleep-science perspective and who was the best person to see. Oscar was a terrible sleeper and when he was six weeks old I was at breaking point. That’s when I realised how important it was to outsource to professionals if you don’t know what you’re doing. “It’s okay to say I’m not super mum and I can’t do this all by myself because if I do, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.” Reading The Baby Bible feels like sitting down and chatting with a brutally honest friend about pregnancy and babies. Is that the tone you were hoping to achieve? I wanted to have a tone throughout the book of women supporting each other. Don’t compare your baby to others or your routine to others, just pick and choose what you need and adapt it to your baby. I want mums to read it and go “it’s ok if I did it like this, but my mum or girlfriend did it like this” just to stop the judgement, comparison and guilt. The tone of the book in that way was very considered. Are you a naturally organised person? Has having kids changed this? I always used to be the one who would text or email back straight away, return calls, and never, ever, be late. Now I’m always the last-minute canceller, 15-20 minutes late to everything, never get back to my friends. It’s completely changed me. I prioritise my children and they work to their own schedule so it’s been a big shock actually. I’m not used to always apologising, but I’m just in a different part of my life and you’ve got to prioritise your family. Can you tell us some of the things you try to make time for in terms of fitness, beauty, food and wellness? I try to make those things fit in over a week. If I have a crazy work schedule and I barely see my kids, the next day I will try to schedule in a day with them. I do cardio tennis on a Tuesday morning; Wednesday Chris and I do date night, so we have a babysitter and we’ll either play tennis, watch a movie or do dinner. Throughout the week, I try and get that balance right and it’s been engineered over time, I haven’t always been good at it but I feel like I’m at a good place now. Can you share with any final words of wisdom for new mums? Just enjoy the ride. Everyone says this and I know it’s cliché, but they do grow up so fast. Even when you’re going through a bad patch and are kind of hating on life, just know that it doesn’t last forever. “I remember when Oscar was a newborn thinking I hate this, this is never going to end, I’ve ruined my life” and that only feels like yesterday and now he’s about to turn seven. So just know that it doesn’t last forever and you will get through it. This is just a taste of all the wisdom within The Baby Bible and it’s such a relatable read from someone who is a hands-on mum who keeps it real and after birthing four babies, clearly has experience up her sleeve which she wants to share to remind all mamas that we’re in this together. It’s clear that Bec is driven, ambitious and family oriented, and that she has experienced so much of what motherhood can throw at you. A woman of many talents, she can now add published author to her expansive list of career accomplishments. Without doubt, however, her greatest achievements to date are her beautiful

Leadership Qualities At a recent parent/teacher interview for our teenager, one of her teachers told us she had leadership potential. This was not news to me. Not because I am one of those parents who blindly believes my children to be naturally superior, but simply because, as the eldest of three girls, Grace has no choice but to be a leader. Leadership had been thrust upon her from a tender age. The braider of her little sisters’ hair, DJ in charge of family playlists, hand-holder across busy roads and fall-back babysitter. But, it was what the teacher said next that left me slightly taken aback. He said he was making sure he gave her extra encouragement. To be a leader. Because she’s a GIRL. And girls are often reluctant to take on this role. I shifted in my already uncomfortable plastic seat. I wanted to get all up in his grill Oprah-at-the-Golden-Globes style and point out that in my girl-dominated household (at least my husband has a boy dog to hang with) my daughters were crystal clear who run the world, if running the world did indeed turn out to be their career path of choice. But then I remembered some sobering observations from Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg’s book on women and leadership, and I bit my tongue. She reports that: “Women only apply for jobs if they think they meet 100% of the criteria, for men that figure is 60%.” Women are also less likely to actively seek promotions, believing that if they work hard enough, recognition will eventually come their way. “Were you trying for a boy?” I was asked on an almost daily basis when I announced my third pregnancy after two girls. Nope. At the risk of an overshare, I was trying not to have any more children. (Sorry Frankie, we wouldn’t send you back) When another pink one emerged in the delivery room the following thoughts went through my mind: The gas is wearing off and that really stung. Really. Stung. (There were a few swear words in there too, let’s be honest) Look at this perfect little human. Another girl. That will save money on clothes / shoes / toys. Another girl. I will never get into the bathroom. I wonder how long I can stay in hospital, have someone bring me meals and ask me how I’m feeling mentally and physically on a scale of 1 to 10, and take the baby when she cries. The following thoughts did NOT go through my mind: I wish she was a boy. I hope she can still be a leader despite her obvious gender deficiency. Girls are going to be ok. This year, for the first time on record, more women than men were appointed to the boards of Australia’s top 200 companies. The UK has a female leader, as does Germany, and New Zealand’s Prime Minister is going to become a mother soon which will make running a country seem like a big ol’ piece of cake. Girls can now play, not only netball, but footy and cricket at a professional level in front of big crowds and big television audiences. Girls can harness a worldwide moment to stop sexual exploitation. But there is still progress to be made. Begrudgingly, I accept that Grace’s teacher’s endeavours to identify and promote future female leaders are still required and should be applauded. I only hope that in the not too distant future it won’t be necessary. @rebeccamorse10

A Letter to My Second Born Dear Baby Boy, From the moment I found out you were in my belly, things were already so different. When I was pregnant with your Big Sister, I was blissfully unaware of just how much my life was about to change. I bobbed around naively in my first pregnancy bubble, spending hours saving nursery ideas to Pinterest boards and giddily discussing baby names with your Dad. I bought teeny, tiny onesies and organised them in drawers by size and colour. And I lay in bed every night, dreaming of what it would be like to be a Mum. I’m sorry to say that when it came to your turn, there was one very big difference, taking the shape of one very small person. Yes, your Big Sister popped that blissful, early pregnancy bubble, quick smart. Being pregnant with a toddler is no joke. As if the nausea, the exhaustion and the insufferable need to pee every hour wasn’t bad enough, I was also at the mercy of a demanding, emotionally unstable, nap refusing, dictator. There were no weekly photos documenting your growing bump (too exhausted!) and no new outfits to gush over (hello pumpkin stained, hand-me-downs!). And I didn’t impeccably plan out your nursery. We lived in a two bedroom unit; you had a modest nook in a corner of our bedroom with just your bassinet and a simple mobile made of sea shells. Your Dad emptied out a drawer for you from his dresser and we placed your change mat on top. Pregnancy aside, when you did finally arrive (and in a much quicker fashion than your Sister) it all felt new to me again. As your naked, wrinkled body was thrust against my skin for the first time, it was as if my heart might just swell so big it would burst straight out of my chest. I want you to know that this moment is not up for comparison with that of your Sister’s. They were equally wonderful. Equally life-altering. But this was Our moment, never to be replicated. Fast-forward to our return home and there were no early morning, snuggly breastfeeds in bed as we drifted in and out of sleep. No, you were fed and strapped into the baby carrier by 7am, just in time for your Sister to wake up, so I could take part in bleary-eyed, breakfast negotiations with my hands free. There were no impromptu photo sessions with multiple outfit changes on the living room floor; I was too busy getting your Big Sister a snack every damn second of the day. And there was absolutely no drinking of the decaf as we navigated our way through the early days and weeks of breastfeeding. It was full throttle on the caffeine so I could do. All. The. Things. You had coffee pumping through your veins from day one, I’m sorry about that. Your naps are a mess thanks to your Big Sister’s social schedule, and your first food wasn’t organic banana and avocado puree. I get pangs of guilt thinking about your baby book which lies unopened in the linen closet (I’ll fill it in by the time you turn one, I promise), or your keepsake box containing only your hospital name bracelet, that sits next to your Sister’s, overflowing with mementos. But now, at almost eight months old, as we approach your first birthday (which is sure to be underwhelming), I’ve had a realisation: it doesn’t matter, all these things I haven’t done for you. These material things don’t matter at all. The guilt I’ve been holding on to, is gone. Because what matters, is how I love you. And believe me, baby boy. Just like your Big Sister, you are so, very loved. Mum. @dannii.odonnell