Emma

‘In today’s rush we all think too much – seek too much – want too much – and forget about the joy of just being.’ Eckhart Tolle A few years ago, I would walk out of work, head down, shoulders lowered, eyes glued onto the face of the mobile phone in my hands still checking emails. I had physically left the office, but emotionally and mentally I was still there. This happened daily and would continue when I walked through the door of my home. This was my habit until one day a colleague walked out with me and commented on the trees that had blossomed along the footpath. This was a rude awakening. I did not even know that there were trees along the path, let alone noticed the white blossom flowers that had bloomed, nor had I looked up and paid attention to the white clouds that slowly swept across the sky making elaborate shapes. As children we laid on the lawn, watching the clouds make vivid images above our heads, however, as adults we barely look up to take note as our minds are full with information. We are busy. Our times of rest and relaxation so often become just another race to get things done. How often do we feel the need to continually be busy, feeling guilty if we sit even if it is just for five minutes? It is said that we have about 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day. There are often constant streams of thoughts that move throughout our minds, and quite often, a lot of the time, our minds are not actually focussed on what it is that is being done. Maybe you can relate to sitting down at work or home with your family and caught yourself jumping between tasks and feeling like you are not doing anything properly. Or perhaps, you’ve noticed how easily it is that you can get hijacked by social media and waste hours scrolling mindlessly, when you could have spent that time doing something far more productive. Life is like walking a slack line. We’re always balancing things; work, play, health, sickness, friendships, families and our relationships. It is a little (and sometimes more than a little) stressful. As soon as we tense up, the line starts to shake and we are more than easily thrown off. It’s these times we may regret the way in which we treat others, ourselves and most importantly our children. The slack line gives immediate feedback and meditation and mindfulness can help us make use of this feedback. The idea of mindfulness is to train our minds so that we can choose where to focus our attention and keep it there. Mindfulness allows us to be present in our parenting, choosing the calmed and skilful response instead of succumbing to our primitive reactions. It is also good for our children. There is an emerging body of research that indicates that mindfulness can help our children improve their abilities to pay attention, to calm down when they are upset, and to make better decisions. In short, it helps with emotional regulation and cognitive focus. Do I even need to ask if you want that for your kids? Applying Mindfulness in your Life Establish your own practice. You would have trouble teaching your children ballet if you had never danced. To authentically teach mindfulness to your children, you need to practice it yourself. Check your expectations. A core principle of mindfulness is letting go of expectations, and this certainly applies to teaching mindfulness to yourselves and your children. Are you expecting mindfulness to eliminate tantrums? To make your active child calm? To make your house quiet? If so, you are likely to be disappointed. The purpose of teaching mindfulness to our children is to give them skills to develop their awareness, to be present, to recognise their thoughts as “just thoughts,” to understand how emotions manifest in their bodies, to recognise when their attention has wandered, and to provide tools for self-regulation. It is not a panacea, and it will not completely get rid of what is normal child behaviour, like tantrums and loudness and whining and exuberance and arguing. The more present you are with your children and yourselves the more happy and resilient you and they will be. It will support you to remain in the present moment and to engage more fully when interacting with others, including your children. Research shows that parents and carers who practice being mindful around their children contribute to improving their child’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. For children Mindful play Dedicate a window of time each week to mindfully play with your child or children. Turn off all other distractions such as the TV, and put your mobile away and on silent. Try to give them your full attention during this time and if your mind wanders off to all the things you should be doing, that’s fine – that’s just what minds do! Use your child as an anchor to come back to every time your mind wanders away. Mindful dinnertime Create a time for your family to appreciate and savour their food at the start of a meal by spending the first few minutes of dinner in silence, just eating and enjoying the food. It’s a surprisingly nice activity to do with the whole family, and done regularly, can become a lovely ritual. For adults Mindful breathing 1. Find a relaxed, comfortable position. You could be seated on a chair or on the floor on a cushion. Keep your back upright, but not too tight.2. Notice and relax your body. Let yourself relax and become curious about your body seated here; the sensations it experiences, the touch, the connection with the floor or the chair. Relax any areas of tightness or tension. Just breathe.3. Tune into your breath. Feel the natural flow of breath, in and out. You don’t need to do anything to your breath. Not long, not short, just natural. Notice where you feel your breath in your body. It might be in your abdomen.

Ian Steel is showing how a little goes a long way in helping change the life of a child in need. A little boy, aged just six years old, walks to school each day. His parents aren’t there to guide him across the road or carry his heavy bag. Instead, this child is holding the hands of his siblings, age three and four, all the way to school to have the breakfast they were never given at home. It’s only after he walks them back home again that he can return and start the day with his schoolmates. This heart-wrenching story is but one of many Ian Steel recounts with sadness in his eyes. It is all the more important he shares it because the children in them are not in another country, but on our very doorstep. “There are countless children living in third world conditions just five kilometres from the Adelaide CBD,” says Ian. “Some are living in cars, going through bins and eating dog food. It breaks my heart.”Ian, a builder by trade and father of three, first witnessed the innocent suffering of South Australia’s underprivileged children while mentoring in a northern suburbs school. “I was shocked at what I saw,” recalls Ian. “Kids came to school without clothes or shoes and 11 year olds were stealing cars on the weekend just to eat. I had just become a parent too and had such unconditional love for my son that I couldn’t understand how kids could be treated like that. I couldn’t turn my back on them.” Seeing for himself how hunger severely affected the children he visited, Ian took matters into his own hands.“I realised I couldn’t take them all in so I started a breakfast program at that school with just me and my ute going to the local shopping centre telling shopkeepers the stories of these kids before I went off to work,” he recalls. “I was able to take the donations to a school the next day and the difference in the kids was instant. They had more energy and concentration to learn and their self esteem went up.” It was then that KickStart for Kids was born. Today, Ian’s charity has grown to support more than 350 schools from Gawler to Victor Harbour and a far as Kangaroo Island. With the help of family members and 800 volunteers, Ian serves up 50,000 breakfasts and 10,000 lunches each week. Just $1200 feeds an entire school for a year. “If a school calls in to say they need help, Kickstart for Kids will be there the next day, whether it’s to feed two or 200 children,” Ian says. “Many of these kids have only been fed junk food. They have never tasted fruit or yoghurt and they love it.”Recognising the vulnerability of impoverished children in its food programs, KickStart for Kids extends a helping hand far beyond meals. “We run a pop-up shop with all new donated items where the kids can choose clothes, underwear, shoes and toothbrushes, that sort of thing,” says Ian. “It’s something they never get to do. I’ve met so many who have never put on a pair of new socks or underwear. They tell me it’s the best day of their life. It brings a lot of them to tears.” Ian has also gathered a team of volunteer mentors, from teenage sporting leaders to loving grandparents and members of the business community. “These kids don’t have any significant adults in their lives. Our mentors have ongoing relationships with them and fill the gaps of a parent who loves and cares for them,” says Ian. “It’s not only good for the kids, it’s great for the volunteers because we know nothing feels better than helping someone else.” Camp KickStart is the charity’s newest initiative, providing much needed respite from the tough conditions disadvantaged children face at home outside of school terms. The program currently supports 60 youngsters aged 5-13 and Ian hopes to expand the reach this year. “These kids don’t look forward to holidays,” Ian says sadly. “They’re dealing with parents with drug addiction, mental illness and abuse issues and they get no rest from it at home, so being taken to the beach, the movies or the zoo is a saviour to them. Most have never been taken anywhere before.” Such is Ian’s commitment to the kids, many have been given refuge in his home and become part of his family.“My kids treat them like brothers and sisters,” he says. “It’s part of their life and they help in the programs and camps. My wife works with the kids too, she’s a mum to many. It’s made our family very aware of how we live and how lucky we are. Having my kids grow up being a part of this has been a blessing because they really do appreciate how important it is to be charitable. My kids will give for the rest of their lives.” KickStart for Kids accepts donations of food, new clothing, shoes, household goods and any monetary value. Volunteers to assist with the food programs and Camps are also needed, with any amount of time welcomed. Get in touch via the website www.kickstartforkids.com.au Facebook: @kickstart4kidsTwitter: @kickstartforkid Meaghan Coles Photography 

How much posting on Facebook is too much? Most of us enjoy sharing a pic or two of our children from time to time doing something special. It’s even been given a name: ‘sharenting’. Most Facebook users who are uploading pictures of kids are women, mums in fact, who want to share the trials and tribulations of life with their little treasures. Thank goodness for mobile phone cameras which now allow us to never miss a moment. But therein lies the modern parent’s dilemma. Unfortunately, our phone cameras also mean it is possible to capture any special moment at any given time, so much so that we are possibly living through our smart phones rather than in the moment. Facebook is 14 years old this year and some teenagers would have had their entire lives journaled online by their parents. An online study of 1623 people conducted in 2015 by Vital Smarts looked at this ritual of taking and posting pictures of children and 58% of respondents reported that posting that perfect picture has prevented them from enjoying life experiences, and some even felt they had missed being present with their child. A question from one of our Cybersafe Families Facebook followers prompts us throw another lens on this. “I’m new to Facebook and I want to know if it’s safe for me to post pictures of my kids?” Before you hit the post button it’s important to think twice about the safety aspects and the impacts of each individual post. The web never forgets. Are your children going to be happy about their photo story when they look back over their public life?Parents are finding that their teenage children are asking for pictures of themselves to be taken down, or pleading with them not to post, because they find it embarrassing. Often a parent’s first response might be, “It’s my Facebook page and I’ll post what I like!”. Common courtesy is to ask friends and colleagues before posting a pic of them on Facebook. Are we giving our children the same right? It might be a good time to ask yourself, “Who are my Facebook friends?” Someone you sat next to at a football game back in 2007? A friend of a friend you met at a party and connected with in order to tag them in a picture? Maybe your friends list needs a clean out. After all, these are the people you are inviting to look at the aspects of our life you choose to publicly share. A good way to do this is to ask yourself, if you bumped into this person on the street would you stop and chat, pull out your purse and share your kids’ latest school picture? Would you tell them about family milestones or your new job? If the answer is no, then it’s time to do some deleting. Then check your privacy settings to ensure that only friends can view your pictures. Right now there is no way of preventing other people from sharing the photos you have posted on Facebook. You can, however, limit your pictures to friends only. This way only your friends will see your images. However, this doesn’t prevent anyone from taking screenshots of your photos and sharing them. This is why it is important to know who your friends and keep them real. The decision about what you post and how often is a personal one. Many people post pictures with the sole purpose of sharing with family and friends and staying connected, or to boost engagement with their community. This is how we roll today. It’s up to you to decide, only you can weigh up the benefits and risks so you can do what feels right for you. The office of the eSafety Commissioner shares some advice on ways to share pictures that will reduce of the risk of your photos being shared more widely than you intended. 1.The golden rule, gain consent before posting pics of other people’s children. This is easy to forget when getting caught up in the excitement of school sports day or the Christmas concert. It’s also important to consider that in any large group of children there is the possibility of a foster child whose posted photo could put them at serious risk. Best to play it safe here and be sure to only snap your own little bundle of joy. 2.Ask yourself:– Who might see it? Is anyone else in it?– Will it offend anyone?– Are there any identifying details in the photo? A picture of your child in his school uniform with his soccer club bag sitting in the background with a birthday card on the shelf will tell a predator all they need to know about where and when to find your child if they want to. 3.Sharing photos online can sometimes identify your location. Check your location settings and check which apps on your smartphone use geolocation 4.Never share anything indicating your children’s activity schedules onlineRevisit your privacy settings, and check your settings on all social media platforms. You may have overlooked something. It’s better to be safe than sorry. For any information or advice regarding ways to keep your family safe online contact Cybersafe Families www.cybersafefamilies.com.au Facebook: Cyber Safe Families 

If you’ve attended Nature Play SA’s events you may have come across the scrumptious variety of natural playdoughs on offer for little hands to explore and create. One of their popular varieties is lavender playdough, a calming and engaging playdough made with natural colours and fragrances to captivate the senses. In the inaugural issue of its Wild Ones magazine, the not-for-profit organisation shares some of its favourite playdough recipes, including this gorgeous wildberry lavender variation. Whip up a batch together with your kiddos over the summer holidays! What you’ll need 2 cups plain flour1 cup salt2 tbsp oil4 tbsp cream of tartar2 cups water1 tsp lavender oil½ – 1 cup fresh or frozen berries for dyeing Optional extrasnatural loose parts (think: twigs, flowers, seedpods, pebbles, fragrant herbs and shells)cookie cutters, rolling pin, cutting board or placemat for play Steps Prepare your natural dye: gently bring water and berries to boil in a saucepan, then simmer for five or more minutes. Remove saucepan from the stove and strain the mixture through a colander, reserving the liquid.Allow kids to measure and mix the flour, salt, and cream of tartar in a medium-sized saucepanPlace saucepan on medium heat and carefully add the oil and natural dye mix. Stir for 3 – 5 minutes until the mixture congeals then remove from heat.Once the playdough has cooled, knead the lavender oil into the dough then allow children to work the mixture until ready! Tips There’s a bounty of natural hues that can be achieved with berries and other plants, spices and natural materials. Experiment with foraged summer berries (such as mulberries or blackberries) or try fresh or frozen berries to see what unique shades you can createAmp up your family nature time by making a morning of collecting natural loose parts around your neighbourhood or local park together. Keep a collection on hand for playdough and other nature craft sessions! Nature Play SA is a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to increasing the time today’s generation of children spend playing outdoors in nature. Find out more about their Wild Ones magazine and Family Membership at natureplaysa.org.au/join-the-movement/family-membership/ Cookie cutters pictured are available from Nature Play SA at natureplaysa.org.au/shop. All images: Jason Tyndall, Nature Play SA. natureplaysa.org.auInstagram:@natureplaysaFacebook: @Natureplaysouthaustralia  Photography by Jason Tyndall