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 Mental health for new dads Mental health is an important topic of discussion whether it’s for women, men or children, and here at KIDDO we love that the lines of conversation around mental health are being opened and the stigma is lessening. We talk to Dr Grant Blashki, Lead Clinical Adviser for Beyond Blue about mental health for new dads. Bio Dr Grant Blashki is a practicing GP, the Lead Clinical Advisor for Beyond Blue, and has published numerous books and research papers about mental health. He is an active commentator in media and has given hundreds of public presentations. As the father of three grown-up children, he is committed to helping new dads traverse that exciting, and sometimes daunting, transition to fatherhood. What are the main challenges that face the “modern father” in society today? The very notion of being a father has evolved and morphed in recent decades, mostly for good. In my clinic, I see so many young fathers who are engaged with their children on a daily basis. In times past, this was rare, however these changes in roles have also brought their own pressures. For instance, social media is a relatively new phenomenon that can increase the pressure to be the perfect parent, which often paints a false representation of what parents should experience day to day. Some dads are feeling the pressure from society to still fill the traditional role of ‘the bread winner’ as well as being a hands-on father and struggling to juggle both roles. My impression is also that for many young men who are about to be fathers, there is a sense of “how can I be a father? I haven’t really got myself worked out yet.” How has the evolution of a father’s role changed the pressures on fathers these days? It’s great that dads are becoming more and more hands-on in raising their kids, we’re gradually seeing traditional gender roles for parenting soften and this stands to benefit everyone. There’s still some way to go in these changing roles being more accepted in society, but we’re moving in the right direction. Some dads today feel the stress of trying to ‘have it all’, balancing their career ambitions and being an involved parent at the same time. Which is why it’s great to see workplaces becoming more supportive than in the past with parental leave arrangements, relieving some of the pressure on mums and dads. Fathers are more hands on than ever before. Has this had a positive or negative impact on their mental health? Being involved and engaged with the raising of their children is an overwhelmingly positive thing for fathers. It promotes strong emotional connections with their child and it can really boost the dad’s sense of purpose. What are the main reasons that men will struggle when becoming a new father? Because men don’t experience all the physical changes of pregnancy and giving birth, they may not begin to feel like a dad until after the baby is born. Becoming a dad is a big change. Some main ways men can struggle include the pressure to be a ‘good parent’, relationship stress with their partner, worrying they won’t love their new baby and difficulty getting enough sleep. These adjustments come with stress which, when it builds up, can put your mental health at risk. In fact, depression affects one in 10 dads between the first trimester and the year after the baby’s birth. Anxiety conditions affect one in six dads during the pregnancy and one in five in the postnatal period. However, awareness about men’s experience of PNDA is low, with 45 per cent of fathers not aware that men can have postnatal depression and 43 per cent of first-time fathers see anxiety and depression after having a baby as a sign of weakness. What are some recommendations to get help if someone is struggling with their mental health? Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. Your GP is a great place to start, they can help find the right support for you. For soon-to-be dads, it may be helpful for you to take some time to think about how you’ve reacted to the news and talk it through with your partner. What are you worried about? What are you excited about? The main message is, talk about how you’re feeling, don’t just dwell on it by yourself. Mental health professionals are available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. Web chat is also available 3pm until midnight AEST at beyondblue.org.au/getsupport The Beyond Blue website has resources for new dads including Dadvice, and some excellent videos from the fathers discussing how they manage some of the challenges. Tips for keeping well as a new dad – Talk to your partner about how you’re both feeling – Reach out to other dads/parent groups – Beyond Blue forums might be useful – If you need help, see your GP and maybe undertake a GP Mental Health Plan – Try not to forget the small stuff – drink enough water and eat well If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings of depression and loneliness reach out beyondblue.org.au Or read our article about a Modern Day Dad’s Group in Adelaide

Co-founders of Lighthouse Youth Projects, Jamie Moore and Ryan Lloyd share a longstanding love of BMX and cycling, borne of a lifetime spent riding trails, tackling jumps, performing tricks and forming lasting friendships through a love of bikes. With a wealth of industry experience behind them and a passion for living life to the fullest, these two dads harnessed their mutual love of riding and the benefits and life skills it can bring, and created Lighthouse Youth Projects. The registered charity, volunteer supported, not-for profit organisation was founded with the vision to inspire disadvantaged young people, supporting them into positive pathways through bicycle-based mentoring and life skills programs. We chat with Jamie about the inspiration behind Lighthouse, and how they’re helping disadvantaged young people in our state and beyond. Tell us about Lighthouse Youth Projects. What inspired you to start a not-for-profit directed at helping young people? Ryan and I set up Lighthouse Youth Projects with the vision to give every child in Australia, regardless of their disadvantage, the opportunity to ride a bike with someone passionate enough to care, willing to see their potential and to encourage them to make a change for the better. I met Ryan, who is one of Australia’s best freestyle riders, while I was running a bike distribution business. We started riding together, with Ryan in a sponsored role and myself as an advocate. In 2013, Ryan broke his back overshooting a BMX jump and around the same time, my business failed. For both of us, these life changing events prompted us to really work out what mattered most. Both having a wealth of experience riding bikes, we wanted to share that with people; we wanted to create something that would enable us to pass on this love of riding and its many benefits, to the next generation of young people, particularly those with a background of disadvantage. As soon as we started working in the juvenile justice system, I truly realised that so many young lives are wasted and if someone doesn’t step in and try to help, then everybody loses, not just the child. Can you tell us what positive benefits bike riding has, and how your work helps disadvantaged kids? We believe that bicycles can change lives and be a springboard to a new, positive way of living. Riding is something that most people seem to enjoy, and a lot of people probably take the physical ability to actually ride a bike for granted. It’s not uncommon for the kids we work with to have never ridden before, or to have never had someone in their lives who was willing or able to teach them to ride a bike. Riding is the most efficient way a human can move across the earth under their own power so it’s a very effective metaphor to show positive change and encourage good habits too. Can you tell us about the programs Lighthouse offers? We are lead contractors in two federally funded programs, Cycle of Change and RIDE, which have successfully targeted youth unemployment by way of bicycle-based mentoring. These programs run every day of the week in both South Australia and Tasmania. We also run an ongoing ‘Behind Bars’ program, working with young people who have become involved with the juvenile justice system. This involves school holiday mentoring and programs to help the residents adapt better once they are on the outside, with an aim to help these kids in accessing opportunities to participate productively in the community. We also facilitate Concrete Sessions at Oaklands skate park every fortnight. These are open to the general public, bikes and helmets are available to borrow free of charge, and we welcome people to come down, have a warm meal and hang out in a stress-free environment. Can you share some success stories about kids you’ve worked with? Seeing a young man called Ben from Munno Para finally start to ride on his own after persevering and trying so hard but with limited success, was simply amazing; the look on his face is something I will never forget. Another story that springs to mind is a young person we worked with, Dale, who came to us in Cycle of Change with no idea whatsoever about “what to do with his life”. After working and riding with him for a year, he graduated the Cycle of Change program and started an apprenticeship with Aldom Motor Body Builders. He always texts me the photos of what he is working on, and this type of connection is just so rewarding for all of us. What are your personal highlights over your time mentoring disadvantaged kids? There are so many, to be honest, it’s hard to pick! I think one of the best things I can be involved in is seeing someone ride a bike on their own for the first time. It never gets old and we know that for them, the adventure is just about to start! Also seeing someone who has been involved in the juvenile justice system making a positive change and being released. For me, that’s a moment when I think “well, someone didn’t give up on that kid, and that might have been the only time that’s ever happened”. What’s coming up for Lighthouse? This year we started delivering our RIDE program in Tasmania, so for us working in another state is pretty exciting. We will also be doing a lot more Get Stoked! riding sessions across SA and TAS and that’s a great way we can connect and ride with more disadvantaged kids, hopefully spreading a positive message along the way. How can people get involved and help out with Lighthouse Youth Projects? As a volunteer driven organisation, the more hands on deck, the more opportunity we have to help as many kids as possible. We are always eager to hear from skilled professionals in their field who could have an integral role in helping us to help others. We encourage people to

Dads supporting dads If you were to walk into a pub and see a group of guys sitting at the bar, craft beer in hand, shooting the breeze and having a laugh, you could be forgiven for assuming they’re a footy team having end of season drinks, or old mates from Uni catching up. What might not spring to mind immediately, is that this group of blokes is actually a dad support group, chatting about fatherhood, life with young children, changing relationship roles and the highs and lows of supporting their partners through the early, hazy days of parenting and beyond. But, that’s exactly what happens every week at the Wheatsheaf, where a group of Adelaide dads have formed their own dads’ group; having regular catch-ups to connect with other fathers, discuss parenting issues, and learn from the experiences of other dads. Across the country, thousands of mums meet regularly for mothers’ group, many of us attributing our sanity through the long, nebulous days of early parenting to having a support network around us, of other women with a shared experience. In this day and age, men are more connected with family life, taking a more active and hands on role in parenting than ever before, but these types of networks are rarely geared toward fathers; dads who may be looking for similar avenues of support and the opportunity to swap notes and connect with others experiencing the same challenges. Meet James Age: 36 Occupation: Owner of Dirty Deeds Produce Marketing Kiddos: Paloma 3, Fleur 2 Loves: Surfing and drinking wine Husband to: Clare We chat with James, dadvocate and one of the founding members of local Adelaide Dad Support Group, about how having a support network of other fathers has affected his journey through parenthood. James encourages Adelaide dads to reach out to The Dad Support Group and come along, or check in with dad mates and find a time to get together and chat about all things fatherhood. How long has your dad group been meeting? The Dad Support Group has been around for a few years, some of the core members had kids nearly four years ago and caught up casually. The current iteration which includes new members, some first dads and soon-to-be dads, has been going a few months now. I think the regularity is a key aspect, it’s so easy to let dates and events slip past with kids because of competing schedules and the general madness of parenthood. What have been the benefits of creating the group? They’re bigger than I imagined. Men, typically like to interact side by side with a task to focus on. This gives us a bit of an ‘out’ when it comes to discussing anything of real depth. In this case, we come together with a single question or topic to discuss. It happens eventually, after a heap of chat about the usual (footy/life/work) and we often discuss a particular topic for an hour or more. It offers a platform to share, listen and discuss issues around being a Dad and a supportive partner. My kids are older than a lot of the fathers in the group and I think some of the biggest benefits have come to the guys who are new to being a parent, or about to become one. It’s great to pass some of this on, as this lived experience is so fresh for some of us. What are the main things that shocked you when you became a father? This was a topic of one of our chats actually! For me it’s happened slowly, but after having our second child I’d say how relentless parenting is. It’s very hard to find time for self-care and more structured opportunities are needed, otherwise you can really struggle. What information would you give to expecting dads? Not to listen to the Dads that feel it’s a rite of passage to freak them out with lazy comments like ‘what have you done?’ or ‘you’re in trouble now, mate’. I mean, I’ve said this stuff in moments of weakness but honestly, the advice I’d give is to be excited! Being a dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d also say be super supportive and present during the pregnancy and beyond; the experience you have after the arrival of your first bub won’t come again, it’s the best time to indulge in the journey. What do you think are the main pressures on modern dads? Firstly, I’d like to say the pressures on both parties has increased and I don’t want to discount the experience of the modern mother. Having said that, I think there’s a lot more expected of modern dads in relation to child rearing and tasks within the household. This obviously takes away from the things that dads traditionally did to wind-down and decompress. I really think that we need to talk more about dads; their mental health, pressures, expectations and opportunities for self-care. What is the best thing about being a dad? The other day my three-year-old said ‘when I grow up, I’m going to get a step dad’, I’m not sure if she knows something I don’t, but we had a good laugh. I’d say the best thing is that regardless of the day you’ve had, be it work or even challenges with the kids, it can all be washed away by a single moment of love or laughter provided by the little ones. My kids are at an age where I get lots of affection and they say some hilarious stuff daily. I’ve never laughed so much or dished out and received so many kisses. Have you come across any misconceptions about parenting? I guess that everyone’s experience is the same. Before parenthood I probably would’ve assumed it was a pretty uniform experience, but sleeping habits, health of children and parents, location and support from family really changes your experience. Have you seen a difference in yourself as a

Local Adelaide lady, Tamara Whittaker, is using her grief and suffering after heartbreakingly losing her son at 5 and a half months gestation, to raise awareness and help others through the indescribable trauma and grief of loss. Tamara has proudly written, illustrated and printed Born To Fly, a beautifully and delicately written story that aims to offer comfort and explain the feelings that may be associated with the loss of a baby, or sibling. Tamara’s driving force behind writing the story and making it widely available was to provide hope and comfort, and ultimately strength through unity. By opening up the lines of communication and sharing the reality of loss, it alleviates the stigma and silence. Born To Fly is written through the eyes of a child and not only invokes a sense of comfort, hope and understanding for parents, but can also provide incredible comfort for siblings who have gone through the experience with their parents yet may not have the capabilities of processing their feelings. Children understand stories through pictures better than verbal explanations. A picture book is comforting and can offer insight and explanations in what can be a very confusing and confronting time for children, and by having a story read to them, it allows them to make sense of what’s happening, their feelings and digest the information through pictures. This beautiful book needs to be in the hands of everyone who has ever experienced the loss of a baby or child, or knows someone who has. Born to Fly is available online at tamaraj.com.au and in-store at Dymocks. @borntofly_picturebook

My travel agent friend is one of those who’d returned from a recent visit raving and when she suggested it to us we were weighing up our options for a July escape that was warm, wouldn’t blow the budget, and wasn’t Bali, since we’d already been lucky enough to sneak in a cheeky trip there earlier in the year. As for the question of safety after the Easter attacks, it is a sad reality of our world that no travel, domestic or international, is immune from risk. Not surprisingly though the crucial tourist industry has taken a big hit and we were greeted with warmth, gratitude and relief at every location. (Greet me with a cold towel and a tropical juice on check-in and I’m yours forever.) And security was super-tight. The trip was, however, not without incident. It was never going to be without incident, let’s be honest. My teen amateur astrologer reckons it was Mercury Retrograde. A three hour flight delay for me in the Gold Coast post-Logies saw us miss our plane to Colombo and spend a day in arctic Melbourne with a suitcase of summer clothes. Oh and we lost a child on a hike. And I accidentally exposed myself to a monk. We climbed spectacular Piduragala and on the descent the two eldest went ahead, Milla issuing the challenge that the last one down would be declared a rotten egg. The humidity was already wreaking havoc with my hair and I had strained a hammy underestimating the leaping distance between two boulders so I was in no position to take up her challenge. When we made it to the bottom she was nowhere to be seen. We concluded she must have become impatient and continued the rest of the journey to the car, despite this involving a walk through a temple. The rules of the temple dictated that women must cover bare skin and so my Lululemon bike shorts were hastily wrapped in a supplied sarong as I hurried down the stairs to solve the Mystery of the Missing Middle Child. So hastily wrapped in fact, that the piece of fabric would fall off and expose my legs just as a monk ascended towards me. I apologised profusely. Told him orange was his colour. Milla was not at the car. A mild panic began to set in as scenes from Picnic at Hanging Rock began to play out in my mind. “When was the last time you saw her?” I asked the eldest, who promptly burst into tears. (Granted she’s 16, she cries a lot) “Please don’t say that was the last time I saw her, ever” she sobbed, largely I suspect because we had now been out of wifi range for the best part of three hours. I found myself wondering how long local authorities would take to arrive to start a search party and whether it could be wrapped up in time for happy hour back at the hotel. No point searching in the dark. Her father doubled-back along the track and found her some ten minutes later after having taken a wrong turn. She was bemused by all the fuss that had been made. The highlights for the kids were the incredible wildlife encounters. We saw herds of wild elephants from an open-topped jeep, visited an orphanage where baby elephants were hand-fed milk and held three-day old turtles hatched in captivity before their release to protect them from animal and human predators. The highlights for me, much-needed downtime, days spent by the pool and on palm-fringed beaches. I read two books. I consumed exotic curries, cocktails and over-indulged on the breakfast buffet. We had conversations that didn’t just revolve around day-to-day logistics. And we implemented a new buddy rule on future hikes. Hit me up if you need any Sri Lanka travel tips, excluding monk etiquette. PLACES WE LOVED IN SRI LANKA Elephant Transit Home, Udawalawe Flying Ravana Mega Zipline, Ella Pidurangala Rock Elephant Safari, Minneriya National Park Victor Hasselblad Sea Turtle Research and Conservation Centre, Kosgoda Passikudah and Hiriketiya Beaches We flew Sri Lankan Airlines direct from Melbourne and booked through hollydaytravel.com.au @rebeccamorse10

HEY HEYLEY! I’m Hayley Berlingeri, Adelaide born and bred, mamma of three, and here I am just finding my way (AKA fumbling!!) through my days with my little ones, trying to be the best version of me that I possibly can be (which more often than not, results in me flopped out on the sofa at 10:34pm eating an entire packet of Mint Slice bickies, and thanking God that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it!) Before the babes came in to being, I poured my heart into my career as a Junior Primary teacher and JP Coordinating Principal, I travelled the world, near and far, and I solidly slept. But since then have given every waking minute to motherhood and all its mess, mayhem and marvel. Oh, and I love to share our stories in squares on our Insta page @sweetlittlestory xxx What’s the most valuable or important lesson your kids have taught you? It’s funny, I thought I’d be the one doing the teaching, but they have taught me so much. I learn from them on the daily. And it’s often things I never even knew I needed to know! They’ve taught me what it means to love, and to be loved, without expectation. They’ve taught me true patience (Ratbag Romeo, especially! Haha!) They’ve taught me what it feels like to be tired beyond belief but to want to push through that haze to be the best mother / wife / daughter / sister / friend I can be. But I think the most important thing is that they’ve taught me who I really am. They’ve shown me my purpose. They’ve enabled me to know what it means to have a ‘mother’s heart’. And, without sounding too clichè, I believe they’ve helped me find my true self. If it wasn’t for them, and becoming a mother, I wouldn’t have had my eyes opened to this new life, and my mindset transformed to see all the wonder and beauty in it. How do you know when you’re ready to start having children? Oh, God, is anyone ever ready??!! I know I wasn’t! In fact, my husband, Paolo was the one who forced me into it! He had lured me into the ‘lets make a baby’ chat a few times, and I’d always agreed, but then quickly reneged! I think because I loved my life so much, and I didn’t want any slippery little suckers coming along and upsetting the apple cart! But, as Paolo pointed out to me, I was getting a bit long in the tooth (nearly gouged his eyes out at that point! And don’t you just HATE that as gals, time is against us when it comes to having children?! That damn body clock of ours!!) and that maybe we’d better start trying for a baby soon, just in case we came across a few hurdles. Which, thankfully and gratefully, we didn’t. But nothing, literally NOTHING (!!!) can prepare you for that first baby and all that comes with it. No matter how many details your own mum tells you. No matter how many friends describe it. No matter how many books you’ve read, or babies you’ve held, NOTHING can REALLY prepare you. The complete and utter life change. The long and lonely nights. The unbelievable tiredness that follows you around in a foggy haze for months on end. The worry / stress / anxiety over every teensy detail (OMG she only fed on my boob for 14 minutes instead of 15! Will she survive????!!! …yes, I was that crazy!!). And the love. Oh, the love!!! A love like you’ve never known before. So pure. So true. So strong that you feel your heart might just pop at any moment. Nothing on earth can prepare you for that love. Got a question about life, motherhood or eating chocolate biscuits… I’ll give you an answer! @sweetlittlestory

You know those parents who throw a Pinterest-worthy kid’s party? With arts and crafts, a grazing table, pass-the-parcel with a gift for every child wrapped in each layer, a homemade rainbow cake and a personalised party bag. I am not one of those parents. But, determined that my children not be punished for their mother’s party planning deficiencies I have, over the years, dipped my toe in the at-home party genre, with varying degrees of disaster. One year I decided I would need a big ticket item to distract guests from my hosting shortcomings, like an ice sculpture in the shape of Ana and Elsa. I settled on an inflatable waterslide for the backyard, telling invitees to pack their bathers for a “special surprise”. The Inflatable Water Slide Delivery Guy rocks up in his truck first thing on the morning of the party, shakes his head and says there’s no way he can fit the thing through our side gate. Cue the tears. And also from the birthday girl. So the “special surprise” for our junior party guests was a Slip and Slide dug out of the garage, a garden hose and a bottle of Morning Fresh. Oh, and a balloon animal guy I have in my contacts. It’s a long story. The kids loved it. And the parents had a good chuckle about what happens when Bec tries to entertain at home. So for the next party on the family calendar I played to my strengths and went off premise for a Build-a-Bear party. Which, as the name suggests, is a party during which invited guests build a bear at considerable expense. But what could possibly go wrong in such a controlled environment I hear you ask? I even brought along cupcakes (purchased, not home-baked, of course) so we could stick a candle in one and sing to the birthday girl and the bear that she had built. I was feeling quite smug about my success until my sister mentioned on departure that she had put out a fire for me. I assumed she meant there had been some sort of quarrel over a bear footy guernsey that she had hosed down. But no, the sensible one in the family had extinguished an actual fire. In my handbag. Where I had dropped a match that was still burning after lighting five candles. Slow clap for me. Then there was the sleepover where the middle child declared, after being unable to sleep because her guests were “breathing too loudly”, that she was enduring THE WORST NIGHT OF HER LIFE. Not to mention the slime party that saw us scraping glittery chunks off soft furnishings for the next six months. I suspect you’re either born with the party planning gene or you’re not and not even a vintage copy of the Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Book can change the course of your destiny. I am in awe of the parents who carry off a successful party at home. One party for a set of twins springs to mind. We arrived at said party the customary 20 minutes late because I’d stopped on the way to get a present. I was quick to spot a party activity schedule written on the kitchen whiteboard and when I marvelled at it the mother sheepishly said she should have wiped it off before the guests arrived. Are you kidding me? I replied enviously, this is exactly what I need to employ at my next party. My Whiteboard of Guaranteed Party Success would contain the following checklist: Check that entertainment centrepiece of entire party will fit in backyard. Try not to incinerate party venue. Never, ever host a sleepover. Supply wine to distract parents from lack of party-hosting skills. @rebeccamorse10 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

Embrace yourselves: Taryn Brumfitt is paving the road to body positivity When Adelaide mother of three, Taryn Brumfitt, posted what was a somewhat unconventional before and after photo of herself on her Facebook page, she could never have predicted it was going to reverberate across social media the world over. In the composite, Taryn showcased what she believed, at one time, had the potential to be her perfect bikini body. On stage in her pinnacle moment of glory, after intensive dieting, training and restriction, confidently competing in a body building competition she was inspired to enter as motivation to help lose the post baby kilos. This image was juxtaposed with her more voluptuous, ‘after’ shot; a happier, fuller and most importantly, more fulfilled version of herself, that she had chosen to embrace, after throwing away the scales in favour of learning to love and accept her body. Since then, Taryn has continued the body positive conversation she started that night when her image went viral globally, by undertaking an international crusade; rallying against the media, advertising, the weight loss industry and overarching societal ideologies of what a woman’s body “should” look like. What started as an individual wanting to spark a change in thinking, has gone on to become a global Body Image Movement. Having authored two books and directed and starred in the inspiring and important social change documentary Embrace, Taryn is at the forefront of empowering women and men to make peace with their bodies, and is now setting her sights on helping the most impressionable in our lives, our children, to interrupt the cycle of body hating before it begins. We chat with Taryn about her body confidence journey, learning to embrace yourself, and what’s next for The Body Image Movement. When did your journey towards body positivity begin? The moment I stepped onto the body building stage, arriving in what was my desired bikini body, I just remember thinking “I can’t do this for the rest of my life”. At the pinnacle of embracing what I thought was my perfect body, I just thought “oh gosh no, this is just too hard and takes too much time and sacrifice and energy”. I decided I was going to go out and use my body for pleasure and not punish it, and learn to find joy in food again, rather than just worrying about how many calories something has. How did you learn to embrace your own body? It’s really important to know that it won’t happen overnight, you can’t just flick a switch and love your body. But you can, in any given moment, make the choice to learn to embrace. I think the key word here is learn. You really have to educate yourself and spend time unpacking the old stories, educating yourself as to why you hate your body and then seek out information, whether in the form of documentaries, books, websites or people who are positive about their body image, and just head up that road of learning to embrace. What inspired you to turn this exploration of body image into a documentary? There are two reasons. The first being the 7000+ emails I received after posting my before and after body transformation image on Facebook. Emails from people all around the world talking about their body satisfaction, very heartbreaking stories. That was certainly the motivation, I knew I had uncovered something we weren’t talking about in 2014, like we are now in 2019. I felt a responsibility to do something with all of those stories. The second reason was through frustration with media interviews. They’re 4-minute-long TV segments, and because my photograph went so viral, they were really about being a viral sensation as opposed to respecting the subject and depth that sat behind that photograph. I just wanted the subject of body image to be taken more seriously than it was, and the only way to do that was to do it on my own terms and be independent. That’s when I came up with the idea to make the film. How has the body image movement journey transformed your life personally? The whole journey from the original photograph, to the books, to the film, has transformed my life in so many ways. I still live in and love Adelaide, so that hasn’t changed. I travel a lot, to various parts of the world to spread this message. The whole journey of learning to love my body has propelled me outside my comfort zone to do things that I never thought possible. I think that truly is the difference between not loving your body and loving your body. There’s such power in finding that confidence, self-love and self-respect. That’s what I want for every woman and mother, to find that magic inside of themselves, because we are capable of so much more than we know, and we are living in a day and age where it’s time that women rise up, stand up and use their voices. It’s really hard to do that when we’re still standing around the water cooler at work talking about our cellulite or the latest diet plans. What have you come across that has surprised you about body image / confidence issues universally? I think I was surprised that no matter where I travelled, across different walks of people and cultures, women felt the same. Women across the planet are struggling with their bodies. It might be different nuances in different countries, but there are always challenges. No matter where I went, the stories were still the same, women were hating their bodies. What do you hope people following the body image movement journey will take away from it? It’s not the sole purpose of their life to be at war with their body, that’s not what we’re here to do. A few months ago, I was walking through Perth Children’s Hospital and I saw all these sick children and I was looking at them thinking

On a scale of one to Marie Kondo, my life ranks about a Fyre Festival right now. All I have to eat is a cheese sandwich, I’ve spent all my money, Blink 182 is nowhere to be found, and I’m about to burn all of my possessions and throw myself in the bin. Hectic. But here we are, summer is of officially over, the Adelaide Festival season is finito for another year, and there is literally nothing left to do but scroll through the Netflix menu for hours reading the descriptions of countless movies you’ll never watch. Ahhh, but that’s where I come in… LISTEN: Shameless the podcast Shameless brands itself as the podcast for “smart women who love dumb stuff”. Which is basically the leading statement in my resume, so I’m here for it. Writers Zara McDonald and Michelle Andrews are basically living my dream life each Monday, as they recap the week that was in the celebrity and pop culture space, but they do it in a much more intelligent way than I probably would, which is possibly why they have a podcast that’s been downloaded over a million times and I own house plants. They’re quirky and funny, make intelligent observations about trashy news in a fun way and prove that smart people love Married at First Sight and The Bachelor too, thank you very much. Never miss a Monday! Shameless podcast available from the App store WATCH: Dirty John Based on the true crime podcast of the same name, the Netflix original series Dirty John still scared the bejesus out of me, even though I had listened to the podcast and knew exactly what was coming. Maybe it’s because Eric Bana has an incredible jawline, 2% body fat and is forking terrifying. Bana plays sociopath and con man John Meehan, who embarks on what appears to be a dream romance with wealthy interior designer and four-time divorcee Debra Newell, after meeting online. It’s hardly a spoiler to say that all is clearly not as it seems, with Meehan, who routinely preys on vulnerable women in a bid to extort them for money, turning Newell’s dream romance into a living nightmare. You don’t have to have listened to the podcast to binge this chilling eight-part series, in fact it might well be better if you haven’t. netflix.com DO: Have burgers at Betty’s What can I say? I like big buns and I cannot lie. I want to mention straight off the bat, that Betty’s Burgers have not paid me in a lifetime supply of Burgers for writing this, but if they would like to, I graciously accept. This place is ALL THE THINGS. I was a Betty’s fan prior to the opening of their Adelaide store, from holidays gone by in Noosa, where their flagship store was founded. Naturally, on discovering the plan to open a Betty’s here, I basically camped out on the footpath in Rundle Street and aggressively heckled the construction crew periodically in an effort to speed up the process. I can’t say for sure that it moved forward the grand opening but also, you’re welcome. The atmosphere at Betty’s is relaxed, the service is fast and friendly, and the burgers are the best in town. Don’t be dismayed if there’s a queue out the front, they have an efficient system (I like to think of it as some kind of saucery… ba dum bum CH) of working through it and they still manage to get people seated and served quickly regardless. Happy days are made at Betty’s Burgers, so give it a try! Betty’s Burgers & Concrete Co. 211/215 Rundle St, Adelaide @eeniemeeniemineymum

Simone Lettice Exhibition at Smart Art Gallery Adelaide based visual artist Simone Lettice is gearing up for her latest solo exhibition ‘Grit’ – her bravest and largest collection to date – at Smart Art Gallery. KIDDO caught up with her to chat about her tenacious dedication to her art, her ongoing battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the demands of mothering a toddler… How did you get into painting? I always loved to draw throughout my childhood and started up a handmade greeting card business featuring my drawings in my mid teens. Studying graphic design in my later teens, I didn’t really start painting till my early twenties. A pivotal moment about this time occurred when a friend of mine, looking at a small journal filled with my drawings said, “Simone you need to start doing things you don’t need to squint at!”. Not long after, my boyfriend now husband, provided me with some big primed boards and I went to work creating my first exhibition. Painting quickly took over as my favourite medium. Funny how what was essentially a passing comment spurred me on to change artistic direction. How would you describe your artwork? I can definitely see influences in my work from both the artwork I was surrounded by as a child (family of artists) and the art books I was shown (books on Miro, Matisse and Picasso). It was my grandmother in particular, who really fostered a love of art in me. Encouraging me to paint what I feel, she taught me to use quick expressive markings. To this day my paintings show her influence – my initial sketchings are done quickly and intuitively to create the framework for bold, sculptural abstracts or stylised figurative pieces. Fave thing to paint? I love the boundless freedom abstractionism offers me to be unrestrainedly creative. Painting ‘grit’ has been my favourite painting experience ever! Coming from a more mature, authentic place, I’ve created paintings I would like to hang in my own home. People often look at my paintings and comment on the time they must have taken and remark that I must be very patient. I enjoy the slow, repetitive process, it’s peaceful and meditative. How do you manage and balance mum hat v painter hat? I have become more efficient since having my daughter and more adept at harnessing my creativity and inspiration, ‘turning the tap on’ when I have a window of time, rather than just waiting for inspiration to visit. Even so, I wouldn’t be able to ‘manage’ without the support of my husband, family, friends and a lovely lady that helps out with cleaning once a fortnight. How did you pull together an exhibition [and alll those paintings!] with a toddler + Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? This exhibition has been a labour of love and has taken me longer to produce than I like to admit! Some of the smaller paintings were literally done with my daughter asleep in my arms. Generally, I’ve picked up my paintbrush in stolen moments or when, because family and friends have looked after my daughter or done jobs around the house, I’ve been left with extra time (and energy) to put into painting. It’s been a slow process and at times I’ve felt like this exhibition would never happen. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can be extremely debilitating (I’ve been left bedridden for years at a time in the past) and its so easy to physically crash if you push yourself too hard. I’ve had to really pace myself to produce this collection. Beyond that it’s been patience, grit, determination and a deep love for creating that have propelled me along when it all felt beyond me. Tell us about your exhibition coming up at Smart Art… I’ve titled the collection ‘grit’ as a nod to the determination required of me to compile it. A collection of 36 abstract paintings ranging from postcard size to 1200 x 1200 canvases, these paintings, all bold sculptural acrylics, were created using layers of carefully and slowly applied paint, or dots using a tiny paintbrush. Gold’s, bronzes, greys and black, with the odd splash of a feature colour were my palette of choice for these pieces. I drew inspiration from constellations, music, collage and bronzed sculptures, but ultimately it was my feeling-based, intuitive process that led me to produce works that I hope my audience will likewise discover their own meanings within. Grit opens May 31st at Smart Art Gallery, 93 North Tce, College Park and will be showing through till the end of July. @simoneletticeart

Emma Sadie Thomson is a plant stylist who has firmly imprinted her very talented green thumb around Adelaide, she has created some of the very enviable installations you would have seen around the city. Her beautiful Instagram account highlights her talents and way with plants and provides you with all the green inspiration you could possibly need – and will make you want to do a bathroom renovation when you lay your eyes on her oh-so-dreamy bath, just saying. bath, just saying. Emma has recently become a new mum, to gorgeous little Frances, and we sat down to discuss all things plants and babies, and the synergy between the two. What is the greatest lesson you’ve learnt since becoming a mother, did expectations meet reality? Be kind to yourself and don’t expect to get too much done during the first few weeks. Enjoy the days where you might not get out of your pj’s! I think I underestimated just how little I could get done with a newborn; you are on their time now. But, it is also such a precious time during those first few weeks, so enjoy it as it will be gone in the blink of an eye, I can’t believe she is 10 weeks old already. You have had a very interesting career, beginning in interior and fashion and then pivoting into plants. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and how you arrived at EST? I studied Landscape Architecture at University and then spent some time travelling. Upon returning I wasn’t ready to go back to landscape architecture, and I got a job in the fashion industry, working in set design, VM and then interior design. EST started when I began making and selling terrariums at various markets, then I got asked to help with the redesign of a beer garden featuring a large green wall, which was my first major project. This just lead to other projects and EST naturally evolved. I always wanted to combine interior design and my love for plants and found this was a great way to do it! Where did your passion for ora and fauna stem from? Growing up in rural Mallee Victoria, as a child I was always surrounded by nature and the importance of having a connection to it. Do you feel it’s important to immerse children in nature from a young age? It is so important. I remember always playing outside as a child, out in the dirt making mud pies. I think babies and kids have a natural desire to be outside in nature and getting dirty. Playing in the dirt can also help with training and strengthening their immune systems. Studies have shown that it can help with the proper formation of healthy gut bacteria and by restoring this beneficial bacteria it can help with reduced rates of allergies and boost immune systems. Being outdoors can also help with developing their cognitive skills. If we are having trouble settling Frances we take her out for a walk and she loves to stare up at the sky and the trees. Have you notices a synergy between caring for plants and babies? Both need nurturing and both will give you signs to let you know they aren’t happy. You bring this baby into the world and it is 100% reliant on you looking after it. I think its similar to you bringing a plant into your home, you are now its carer. Who have been the biggest female influences in your life? I have always been surrounded by such amazing women. My mum, grandma and two sisters. Also, nearly all of my close friends have built their own paths and careers working for themselves, which has been inspiring and they have all been a great support to me. What does a typical day juggling motherhood / work look like for you? It really does vary each day! I feel so lucky to be able to work from home and my partner Jasper also works from home, so he is never too far away. It has been a very busy few weeks though as we have just finished vintage up here, but now all of the grapes are picked we are looking forward to having some quieter family time. She usually wakes up around 5 or 6am, feed then back to sleep for a few more hours. This is the time we try and get some work done, washing, cleaning and cooking (so much washing). The afternoons are then usually spent going for a walk and more play time for her as she is much more awake in the afternoons. What advice would you give to a new mum? Support is so important, especially in the first few weeks. We came home from the hospital on the same day, but went to my parents house where we all spent the first week. It was such a big help having my mum to help with settling her after feeding, so I could get some much needed sleep. It’s a whirlwind and you don’t know what you’re doing, so it was so important to have some help! It really does take a village to raise a child. Best indoor plants to have with a newborn / child in the house? I guess nothing too spiky! I keep looking around the house and now see things as hazards that will need to be removed when she starts crawling, such as pot stands! Everything will have to be on the ground in a few months! What inspires your creative process? We get to work with some really great interior designers and architects on projects which is always inspiring to come up with plant installations to suit these spaces. Adding elements of different heights and clusters of planting are important in our plant styling. Light is also a big factor that dictates what kind of plants we can use in the space as well. From your experience,