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When you think about it, breakfast radio and motherhood have a few similarities. No two days are the same. Occasionally dealing with a tough crowd. The early starts. Adelaide radio personality and mum, Ali Clarke agrees. “Sure there are the early mornings, but also you start out with a plan every day knowing full well it can, and probably will, be derailed and you just have to go with it. It’s that old adage of being the duck – everything looks serene and under control on top, but underneath you’re pedaling like crazy. I’d have to say the radio audience is probably more appreciative than my son though, after he only gave me a C+ for my joke telling in my mother’s day card,” she laughs. And sometimes, the worlds collide. With her firstborn Eloise (9), Ali was lucky enough to broadcast from home, just six weeks after she was born. “There were plenty of times I was breastfeeding on air or ducking off to change a nappy during the newsbreak. I’d then lie down in the afternoon and feed Eloise and crash out too. Of course there was no such luxury when the second arrived,” she says. Together with her high profile husband Matt Clarke (Crows AFLW Coach and Crows AFL ruck coach), the pair also have Samuel (7) and Madeline (4). The jump from two to three was a bit like interviewing a celebrity on the radio – a little bit nerve wracking, but very exciting. “There’s no doubt two to three was a shock to the system. We were unlucky enough to need IVF for our children, but so very lucky we were eventually successful, so there was certainly no SURPRISE! You’re pregnant! We were probably halfway through the pregnancy with Maddy that Sam finally got out of nappies and I had my first thought of, whoa – hang on this was just getting easier. I asked my friends who had three, ‘why didn’t you tell me?!’ but I wouldn’t change the chaos and laughs for anything.” It’s a welcomed chaos, and one that’s become the new normal for the Clarkes. “When Madeline was born I had just been fired from Triple M and really struggled for a period trying to work out where I fit in life. Now our family has found the balance in that Matt gets them off to school and I’m there to pick them up. Sure it’s busy, but I would imagine there are plenty of people who are much busier than us.” While Ali balances her work hat and mum hat with a bit of help from her ‘village’ – aka husband, family, friends and babysitters, she admits it took awhile for her to feel comfortable asking for help. “Actually, if I’m honest I still have to push myself sometimes, but once you find those people who you know want to help, and you want to help them, they’re worth their weight in gold.” “This whole idea you can do it all and be some type of supermum … well that’s not for me and I’ll never pretend otherwise. Having said that, I know I’m a better mum with another focus as well as the kids.” One of her other focuses is, of course, radio. Ali has been a regular fixture on Adelaide radio stations for the last decade. Her impressive resume has seen her broadcast on various radio stations, including breakfast announcer on Mix and Triple M. She’s currently on breakfast for 891 ABC Adelaide – making her the only solo woman hosting a breakfast program in a capital city. And while this may sound like a coup in her career, Ali remains modest and praises her listeners. “I still can’t believe this is what I do for a living, and that people would want to talk to me – so that’s pretty cool. Like when someone takes the time to text or call in. I get to talk to some really interesting people. It’s an incredible privilege being invited into people’s home and cars and I don’t take it likely. I love that with radio you can make a connection with someone. I love both the immediacy and the intimacy.” Apart from broadcasting on the radio or running around after her three beautiful kids, Ali supports a number of charities. She’s an ambassador for Minda and Carer Support, and is passionate about helping people with disabilities. With all of the aforementioned, downtime is, understandably, a bit of a foreign concept. “I’m sorry? What’s that?” she laughs. But with the fun and fast paced mix of radio and motherhood, she still (sometimes) manages ‘independent Ali’. “I love hanging out with friends or going for a walk – anywhere outside. I also don’t mind crashing on the couch watching horrendous reality TV – shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” she concludes. ALL GOOD IN THE [MOTHER]HOOD What’s the one thing you didn’t know about motherhood that you wish you knew beforehand? That I would never again just grab my purse, phone and keys and walk out the door… now it’s water bottles, wipes, games, books etcetera. Best piece of advice you received when you were new to motherhood? Learn how to say no (not just to the kids, but to others who want your time). Oh, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Who cares if you have a messy house, give yourself a break before running around dusting. Describe your parenting style? I’m pretty strict – I’m a big one on respect and living up to your promises, so I’m always pulling the kids up on manners and making sure they appreciate other people’s situations. Matt is a lot more relaxed … he’s definitely ‘Fun Dad’. A parenting philosophy you stick by? Hear them out first. Especially now that the kids are a little bit older, I’ve found a lot of angst and energy can be saved if you just give them the time and space to get their point of view out BEFORE making

  Doha Khan is a climate change activist. She is currently the coordinator for the South Australian branch of the School Strike 4 Climate Australia and national representative for the State. “Climate change is one of the biggest injustices that our generation is being dealt, and just the fact that I’m under 18 and can’t vote, meant getting involved was the perfect way to make my voice heard,” she says. Students like Doha are protesting between 9am and 3pm every Friday on the steps of South Australia’s Parliament House, calling for 100 per cent renewables by 2030 and creation of opportunities for those currently working in the fossil fuel industry to transition to the growing renewables industry. The climate strikes by SA students are part of protests happening around the globe, started by 16-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg.“No one wants to be missing out on their education, but inaction on climate change has driven us (students) to this. So do your job (politicians) and we won’t strike!” Get Around It is an Instagram account and portable pop-up clothesline which showcases a range of young South Australians doing great things. The thinkers, makers and doers online and on-the-line are between the ages of 14 to 22 and have been recognised for the work they do by the South Australian Commissioner for Children and Young People, Helen Connolly. Follow @getaroundit_sa on Instagram to see what other young South Australians are up to in their own backyards. Or why not nominate yourself or a young person you know who you think would make a great addition to the Get Around It showcase? Send us a message via the Instagram account or email CommissionerCYP@sa.gov.au today!

BTS with BTN In the News. Winning an Oscar, a Grammy, a Tony, a Pulitzer or even an MTV Award would be great, right? But there’s one award that a lot of people agree is the greatest of them all because it rewards people for helping humankind. I’m talking about the Nobel Prize! It all started with a guy called Alfred Nobel (makes sense). He was a Swedish scientist in the 1800s and his most famous invention was dynamite. BOOM. While dynamite was handy for lots of things like mining or clearing the way for railway lines, it was also used a lot in war. So, legend has it, that one day a newspaper accidentally reported Alfred was dead! He wasn’t. But the article about his life said he’d become rich from killing people. Alfred really didn’t like that, so he decided that when he died for real his massive fortune would be used to set up an annual series of prizes for those who did the most to change the world for the better. The first Nobel Prizes were awarded in 1901 and they’re still given out to scientists, doctors, writers, activists and peace-keepers every single year. Each prize comes with a gold medal and a serious chunk of money – around 1.4 million Aussie dollars! Not bad. Winners often put that money back into research or charity work, because they’re just THAT nice. Nobel Prize winners include some really famous names like physicist Albert Einstein, former US President Barack Obama, The Red Cross and activist Malala Yousafzai. Hmm, I wonder who will win this year… Listen Up Face to Face by Ruel Grab Your Popcorn Jumanji 2: The Next Level Turn the Page Diary of An Awesome Friendly Kid by Jeff Kinney Get Out There Head to the city for the world’s second biggest Christmas Pageant – beaten only by the Thanksgiving Parade in New York City Get Creative Try making gingerbread cookies! They’re my Christmas specialty and decorating them is THE BEST PART (besides eating them… that’s pretty good too) Search Up Finalists of the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards. The rhino snap will make you giggle! On BTN Check out my interview with Prime Minister Scott Morrison! I sat down with the PM and asked him questions sent in by the kids of Australia. Did You Know? The Prime Minister’s favourite superhero is Aquaman. Yup, he’s a DC fan. And in case you were wondering, my favourite superheroes are Wonder Woman and Batman! abc.net.au/btn @behindthenews and @amelia.may.moseley Behind the News youtube.com/behindthenews ABCMe: BTN Classroom on Tuesdays @10am, BTN Newsbreak on weekdays @6.25pm

“How do I help my child have a positive body image?” It’s a question I get asked all the time and the answer is simple – you show them how. A recent study identified the number one issue concerning our children is body image. Say what? Not global warming or war, but instead how they feel about their body. “Too fat” “Too thin” “Not muscly enough” kids are more preoccupied with negative thoughts about their bodies than they are with the joys of being a kid. You know; riding a bike, getting swooped by a magpie, building a cubby house, running naked through the sprinkler. Kids have forgotten to be kids because we live in a world that tells them grow up, tighten up, sex it up and get likes. But let’s not focus on the negative, that will get us nowhere. Let’s focus on what we can do to help our little ones navigate a complex world of toxic messages. Your home is a sacred… We can’t control the messages kids receive when they walk out the front door but we can protect them in our homes. Create a rule in your home that involves a zero tolerance policy for making negative judgments about appearance, towards each other or anyone else (for example watching TV “he looks big” / “she looks old” etc.) Move your body for pleasure – not punishment! Show your kids how much fun you can have with your body. There are a million ways to move your body, exercise should never be punishment for something you ate or for ‘being naughty.’ Move your body because it’s enjoyable to, let your children see that you do it for the endorphin rush, the connection to nature or just because it’s fun – not because you are ‘losing weight’ or getting ready for summer. Talk about the magic of your body – all the time! Eyes that can see, ears that can hear, a heart that beats, legs that dance, arms that can wrap around one another – there are so many reasons to be grateful for our bodies, but for the most part we take the magic for granted. So don’t. Find opportunities to bring a positive perspective about our bodies into conversations every single day, you can even write positive messages and stick them on the fridge or pin board “Thanks legs for all the walking you do!” “Thanks tummy for being a home to my kids!” The positivity you express about your own body will rub off onto them – after all you are their Queen (or King!). Stop commenting on weight loss. A lifetime ago when I trained for a bodybuilding competition and lost a bunch of weight, I’ll never forget how many mums at school came up to me to ‘congratulate’ me on my weight loss. “You’re so inspiring” “Wow how much weight have you lost?” “I need to go on a diet!” So many of these comments were made in front of my kids, the takeaway for my kids – weight loss is inspirational and diets are the way to achieve success. How about we acknowledge that weight loss or weight gain amongst our friends is completely irrelevant, I couldn’t care less what my friends weigh. My connection to them is the energy we exchange and the adventures we share together, not a number on a scale. Finally, try not to feel too overwhelmed, this parenting gig is no walk in the park but you can’t go wrong if you keep it positive and simply do your best! With love, Taryn x FOLLOW @bodyimagemovement for a daily dose of love and inspiration! Charlie’s Angels move to the side because Celeste Barber, Teresa Palmer and Natasha Stott Despoja have joined the Embrace Kids documentary as Executive Producers. Talk about a dream team! Positive body image leggings from BeKeane Healthy and Fit have arrived! Aren’t they glorious! “Born to be me” “Embrace” “Confidence is beautiful” and “Unique” – what powerful pant these are! We’ve been inundated with ‘Embrace bum shots’ from women all around the world and we like it! Embracing your body is so infectious, we hope you catch it sooner than later! EMBRACE YOU STARTS SOON! We are about to kick off my 4-week online program “Embrace You”. Learn how to stop hating your body, start loving your life and best of all you can pass on the life-changing strategies to your little ones, so they can embrace too! Embrace You has a 94% success rate – more time, energy and fun awaits, join www.embraceyouonline.com

Becoming a mum is an exciting, life changing experience. There are so many new, foreign things happening and adjustments being made that physical changes can sometimes be overlooked and put in the ‘I will deal with that when I have time’ basket (mmmm when does that time come?). We all know that the human body goes through some dramatic changes during pregnancy, some we can see and others we cannot. Postural changes, such as increased curvature of the spine, are inevitable as the human body accommodates a larger belly. Also, joints and ligaments become loose due to the hormone ‘relaxin’, this creates more space in and around the pelvis, however, also impacts the whole body. Let’s face it, baby never gets any lighter, so with all the lifting, carrying and sitting in strange positions to accommodate a child who is finally sleeping, our bodies can develop patterns of movement that are not ideal and cause joint pain and muscle inflammation. With so many changes in routine with new bub coming along, it is natural to prioritise everyone else’s wellbeing over our own ‘recovery’. Consequently, mother’s often experience ongoing pain and other issues that are never completely resolved. This can lead to long term back, neck, shoulder and other joint pain and muscle soreness. Correctly exercising the body is the key to regaining alignment, mobility and core strength. Incorrectly exercising can exacerbate issues and lead to those long-term chronic impacts. One ideal form of exercise is reformer Pilates under the supervision of well-trained instructors. The key focus of Pilates is to strengthen the core muscles that support the spine, in particular the Transversus Abdominus (think, baby bump) and the Obliques (think, tapered waistline) as well as strengthening the Pelvic Floor (!). The Transversus Abdominus and Obliques are large core muscles that wrap around the body connecting the spine, ribs and pelvis. Pilates also strengthens the gluteal muscles that provide stability to the lower back, pelvis and knees. While also strengthening the muscles of the arms, legs and torso, reformer Pilates is resistance training, the equivalent of going to the gym and lifting weights! We chat to Joanne Thiele, Instructor and Owner Studio Pilates SA about Pilates and the benefits pre and post pregnancy: – Is Pilates like yoga? What is the difference? Pilates and yoga are similar in a number of ways, both seek to unite the mind and body bringing strength and flexibility to the muscles and joints. The key difference with reformer Pilates is the focus on building lean muscle through the use of the machine to provide resistance and also to align the body. Pilates focuses on pelvic and spinal alignment, which in turn improves posture and can alleviate aches and pains brought on by our daily lives – sitting at computers, driving etc. – How is Pilates different from lifting weights for strength training? Pilates develops the deep muscles of the back and abdomen to support your spine, and focuses on breathing to promote better posture. The reformer helps to maintain very specific positions to target specific muscles. In the gym it’s easy for bigger, stronger muscles to take over whereas with reformer Pilates, your instructor can help you get an all over body workout, working both sides of the body equally while also balancing muscles through the front and back of the body. Pilates does not focus on ‘bulking’ up the muscle but rather building long lean muscles that are strong and flexible. Reformer Pilates classes are usually around 40 minutes, which means a quick, effective, targeted workout on one machine. You don’t need to wait for different equipment or work out what exercises to be doing to get a great all-over-body workout. – How many days a week should I do Pilates? If you can only do Pilates once a week this is better than nothing, however, if you are able to do Pilates 3 to 5 times per week you will experience the rapid transformational power of the movements building and maintaining strength and flexibility very quickly. This will also depend on what other physical exercise or work you are doing. Pilates is very complementary to other activities helping to bring balance back to the body used to working some muscles more than others (golf, tennis, cycling, running etc.) – Can I do pilates whilst I am pregnant? Yes, maintaining strength during pregnancy will not hurt mother or baby; however, there are some muscles that we recommend should not be strengthened / challenged during pregnancy such as the inner thighs and some abdominals such as the rectus abdominis. There are many others that can be continued to be strengthened, especially the glutes (to maintain pelvis stability and avoid back pain) and upper body strength (to aid in all the lifting and carrying that will be required when baby comes along). Pregnancy can also limit some positions such as lying on your front and back. The reformer provides an extensive number of exercises that can be continued up to full term. One of the great benefits of Pilates is how it can help with spinal and pelvic alignment. This is particularly beneficial for pregnant women and women who have just given birth, as the physical changes that come with pregnancy can put a strain on your alignment. During pregnancy, Pilates can help to maintain your level of fitness, strengthen your pelvic muscles and also promote efficient body mechanics. These are ideal as your body prepares for the strain of childbirth, the strengthened pelvic floor will also make it easier for mothers-to-be to give birth. And after the pregnancy, Pilates can help you to recover and return to your pre-pregnancy body. – How quickly will i see results from Pilates? We offer an introductory pack of classes that involves 6 classes over a 2 week period, this frequency and time period is enough to experience a difference. Clients report feeling a difference after only 1, 2 or 3 classes. This is due to working muscles

Rebecca Morse: Our Little Picassos “The most impressive dedication to early childhood artistic preservation came from a mother who photographed each piece and transformed it into a coffee table book.” Do you keep your children’s artwork / craft projects / school books? If so, how much of it, and for how long? I am guilty of sticking it on the fridge next to the bills for a couple of weeks and then sheepishly discarding it when the next abstract masterpiece of paddle pop sticks and feathers comes home from school. I’m not a complete monster, some get kept, anything that displays artistic merit I may be able to draw on if the child responsible chooses to pursue a career in the arts. Also, anything with a handprint. Because how cute, how little etc. Handmade Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and birthday cards are kept. You know, the ones that say Mummy’s Favourite Drink: wine. Well baby girl, it’s highly likely that without wine you would not have been conceived, nor would Mummy have survived being a Mummy with her sanity intact thus far. And when I say they are “kept” I mean they are randomly shoved in a cupboard to one day be transferred into a neatly-labelled storage box. When I have the spare time. Lol. I wasn’t always like this. There was a gradual loss of sentimentality from the first through to the third child. When the eldest was born I kept her ultrasound pictures, her hospital wristband, the first angelic blonde curl cut from her head. They were glued proudly and dutifully into a baby book. I purchased small canvases and invited a clucky friend to my house for a “crafternoon” during which we dipped the precious newborn’s feet and hands into paint and made them into little artworks to be displayed around the home. I took photos of her in the bath, had them enlarged, and put them on the wall above said bath. I went to Spotlight and bought fabric covered in farm animals and stretched it into artwork to decorate her nursery walls. Mid-Twenties-First-Time-Mum Bec had waaaaaay too much time on her hands. When the second child was born there was no time for a baby book. But by this stage the digital photo book had been invented therefore when I had an attack of the guilts about the lack of documentation of her life, I whipped up a quick book and considered that box ticked. There were no personalised decorations on our walls, in the bathroom or indeed in her nursery. Then there was the third child. The third child may have reason to suspect her childhood did not occur. Lucky Instagram came along in her toddler years or there may well have been little evidence of her very existence. As for decorating her nursery. Welllll she didn’t really have one. Her hand-me-down cot was placed in the study nook outside our bedroom and when she was old enough to move into a Big Girl’s Bed she shared a room with her older sibling. Builds resilience. We discussed on radio my penchant for Marie Kondo-ing my kids’ artwork and school books and I’ll admit the majority of our callers made me feel mildly shamed. One kept big storage boxes under their bed full of every piece of childhood creativity their offspring had ever brought home. Another laminated artworks to save them from disintegration into the future. (Early-Twenties-First-Time-Mum Bec really wanted a laminator) The most impressive dedication to early childhood artistic preservation came from a mother who photographed each piece and transformed it into a coffee table book. And here’s me tiptoeing out to the recycling bin at the end of the school year dumping books containing pages and pages of long division and handwriting practice that document crucial stages of my children’s developmental progress. Mother. Of. The. Year. But here’s the thing. Here’s why I set my sentimentality benchmark relatively low. Would I now, in my forties, want to leaf through all of my primary school memories? If I’m honest, no I would not, and had my parents gone to the trouble of holding onto such prehistoric relics, I would just feel guilty turfing them out after a quick nostalgic perusal. Unless I’d made a Mother’s Day card exposing my mum’s alcoholic beverage of choice circa 1980. That, I’d still like to see. @rebeccamorse10

Your Wild Imagination! After a successful crowd-funding campaign, Adelaide mum and creator of Wild Imagination, Brooke Davis has now launched her nature play book for kids titled ‘Your Wild imagination’. A great Christmas pressie idea if you ask us! From 3+ years old the book is for anyone big or small who wishes to be inspired. It includes over 20 nature play activities that can be transformed by your own unique creativity. Just one of the book’s many gorgeous images is featured on our cover. As parents we are always looking for ways to avoid our kids spending too much time behind a screen. Brooke created Wild Imagination with the intention for kids to have more green time and less screen time, while allowing their imaginations to run wild and free. We spoke to Brooke about her new book and inspirations: Did you do much Nature Play as a kid? Even from my earliest memories, I have always loved nature play. Climbing trees, exploring the outdoors, making potions and mud pies, and even fishing occasionally! It’s not an uncommon story – that my strong connection with nature was lost somewhere along the path of growing up. But when I had my own children I began to realise how different their childhood was to mine – too much screen time and not enough green time. So when I started to take steps to change that, I realised that many parents were in the same boat. In 2016 I established Wild Imagination, which is a nature play program that has seen about 20,000 kids enjoy nature play with us. Tell us a bit about the content of the book? What will we find inside? It’s called Your Wild Imagination because the activities are open ended and the images are there to ignite your imagination, not prescribe how it should look in the end. The book has more than 20 activities, plus school holiday projects and is best suited to kids aged 2 – 10 years but is for anyone who would like more nature and play in their lives. Some of the activities you can expect are flower crowns, wood whittling, magic wands, nature masks and fabric printing. It is filled with beautiful images and easy to follow instructions. There is a real focus on sustainability, so you won’t need to go out and buy a bunch of materials to get going. Mostly, you will be able to use what you find in your garden or local park, combined with some items from your home or a secondhand shop. Measuring 15cm x 23cm, it’s the perfect size for little hands and fits well into a kids backpack. How did you go about getting it off the ground? Publishing a book was a daunting task, so I sought the help of others by running a crowdfunding campaign to raise enough money to print the first run of books. We reached our target with a few days to spare and sold about 900 books in the process. I’m so grateful to those early supporters for helping to get it published! What’s next for Wild imagination? We’re taking a break from running our own school holiday programs for the foreseeable future, but instead we’re partnering with councils, schools and events to bring nature play to Adelaide kids. You’ll find us doing nature play activities and selling the book at various events around Adelaide (check our website for dates). Next year I’ll begin working on the second book, which has more nature play activities for primary school aged kids. Longer term, there will be more books for different ages and interests, including for tweens and adults. wildimagination.com.au @wildimaginationnatureplay

By 
Olivia Williams 
 A little over a year ago, I lost my mum. And she wasn’t just a regular mum, she was a cool mum. She was my first and oldest friend, my staunchest supporter, the person who would always understand my left-of-centre jokes or my slightly inappropriate sarcasm. In fact, she’s probably the reason why I even make those jokes or am inappropriately sarcastic in the first place. Those things were our love language. The foundation of our lifelong friendship, forged in belly laughs and jokes only the two of us understood. In the year that’s passed since, a lot of things have changed, and yet… a lot of things have also stayed the same. In the days and weeks immediately following her death, my grief was visceral; tangible. I wore it with me everywhere I went. I lay with it awake every night on the couch mindlessly watching late night reruns of 90-day Fiancé. It rested on my shoulders in everything I did and it resonated through every word I spoke. The loss of her was an incalculable blow that had left me breathless and without anchor. In that year, I took my grief to the same place over and over again; the gym. This wasn’t entirely off-brand for me; in my adult life I’ve morphed into one of those irritating activewear clad mums who talk about exercise all the time when literally nobody asked (sorry friends), but this new motherless version of myself attacked it with a new intensity and focus. Somehow, I thought if I just kept running… maybe I could outrun my grief. With every foot strike on the treadmill, maybe I could get one step further away from feeling like my entire world was falling apart, from the constant wondering how… if there was no her, I could still be me. If I could just run, I wouldn’t have to face the devastation that was waiting to envelop me in every other facet of my life. It wasn’t grief making me feel like I couldn’t come up for air, it was running. It wasn’t the loss of her making every muscle in my body ache, it was running. I didn’t wake up every morning hurting because I was hurting, it was running. That’s what I told myself. I ran so fast, and so far, that I broke. Literally. What was initially a little niggle of discomfort in my leg, became over the course of a month, searing agonising pain. But still, I kept running. When I finally relented and took myself to the doctor because I could barely walk (and yet…was still running), an MRI revealed a significant stress fracture to my fibula from overuse. We laugh about it now, because if anyone was going to break their own leg, it would be me, but in my mind, it seemed like the end of the earth at the time. Running gave me a time to be sad, sometimes sweat and tears would become one as I pounded stride after stride on the treadmill. Running gave me a purpose, a place to go where it was just me and my grief, and no one to tell me it was time to start finding another way to move forward. But that’s what I had to do, find another way. Because over the months since, when I could no longer spend hours convincing myself I could somehow manage to outrun my sadness, I realised a few things. Grief is a marathon, but it’s not a race; it’s a journey. There’s no medal at the end of it, because it doesn’t end. There’s no finish line. You can’t win it; it’s borne of loss. As the dust I was kicking up day after day settled, it dawned on me. The day mum died was not just a date on a calendar. It was the day when my very existence changed forever. The death of your mother, they say, is the first sorrow wept without her. But, what I’ve had to realise as I’ve been so tightly grasping the last vestiges of the woman that loved me like no one else ever has, is that she’s not really gone. I’m not living my life without her in it. She’s here in so many ways. She’s here in the blue of my son Henry’s eyes. She’s here in the beautiful art my daughter Tilly quietly creates. She’s here in the stubborn, wicked, infectious sense of humour of my littlest girl, Rosie. She is here in the words that I write, and in the unconditional love that I know how to give. So maybe my morning runs, shouldn’t be mourning runs anymore. Because in so many ways, grief is just another word for love. I can’t outrun that; and I don’t want to. @eeniemeeniemineymum

Every month I submit this column, I exceed the word count. If you know me in real life, and my tendency to tell very long winded, detailed stories including verbatim reports of what people said and an apparent total inability to live-edit my own anecdotes, this won’t surprise you. I promised myself that this month I wouldn’t subject everyone to another bruising session of Too Much Information, I’m coming up for air! With that being said, I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve read/watched/listened to or done any of the things I’ve recommended in this column over the last year or so, let me know what you thought! Send me an Instagram DM @eeniemeeniemineymum. WATCH: The Final Quarter: the Adam Goodes documentary Half a million viewers tuned in to The Final Quarter when it aired this year, if you weren’t one of them, I implore you to take the time to do so. The film documents arguably one of the most shameful chapters in Australian sporting history; the booing and abuse Adam Goodes faced over the final seasons of his AFL career, eventually driving him into an early retirement. Using archival footage, it tracks Adam’s experience on the field and off, as he endured systematic bullying and racial vilification at the hands of spectators, the general public and the media, under the guise of “sporting culture”. I watched the documentary with tears in my eyes, wracking my brains about how we as a nation can be better. You should too. You can watch The Final Quarter online at 10PLAY LISTEN: Sleep with Me podcast The creator and host of the Sleep with Me podcast claims his voice is so boring listeners can’t stay awake when listening to it, and sir, I feel like my husband could host a podcast about cycling and achieve the same results. Seriously though, fellow insomniacs come one, come all! This podcast is specifically designed to help you fall asleep. I’d love to give you a detailed rundown about the labyrinthine stories, the gravelly tone and maze-like monologues told, and wow you with the science behind how this all combines to lull you off to a restful slumber. But I can’t. I’ve literally never heard them past the first ten minutes. That’s right, this guy has achieved the impossible and overridden the reams of Eminem lyrics that suddenly pop into my head as I finally decide to hit the sack, and managed to bore me to sleep. Mission accomplished. Available wherever you get your podcasts DO: Lash out with Miss Eyelash Ladies, I’m about to become your best friend. Or, Miss Eyelash is at any rate. I have forever lamented my pathetic inability to grow lashes (whilst simultaneously having no trouble growing leg hair, go figure) but have been very reluctant to dabble in the fine art of eyelash extensions because of all those twenty-something reality TV stars that look like they’re using tarantulas as eyepatches. But I’m here to tell you, lashes are the new boobs; not since I was a flat chested teenager have I been so obsessed with having a bigger, better pair. Miss Eyelash is what I like to elegantly call, the shiz. Specialising in natural looking lashes, you don’t walk out looking like a spidery lashed Bachelor contestant with eyeball verandas; instead you’re a subtly enhanced, school pick-up approved, fuller lashed version of yourself with a little bit of je ne sais quois. Exactly the look I was after. What’s great about these extensions is that you have options; you’re not locked in to getting refills every month if you don’t have time or money for that sort of commitment, these are low maintenance lashes. You can have them applied as a one off, for a season or holiday (they last for about a month looking their best), or you can view it as an ongoing investment in not having to put mascara on every bloody day and have regular refill appointments. Emma from Miss Eyelash is a GURU, pioneering natural-look eyelash extensions in her exclusive salons in Melbourne, before moving to Adelaide and launching Miss Eyelash private suites in The Marina at Glenelg. You might not have considered lash extensions before; we’ve all seen how thick, badly applied, overly long lashes look (no thank you), these are not those lashes. Run, don’t walk! Miss Eyelash @misseyelash Bookings: misseyelash.com

 I’m Hayley Berlingeri, Adelaide born and bred, mamma of three, and here I am just finding my way (AKA fumbling!!) through my days with my little ones, trying to be the best version of me that I possibly can be (which more often than not, results in me flopped out on the sofa at 10:34pm eating an entire packet of Mint Slice bickies, and thanking God that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it!) Before the babes came in to being, I poured my heart into my career as a Junior Primary teacher and JP Coordinating Principal, I travelled the world, near and far, and I solidly slept. But since then have given every waking minute to motherhood and all its mess, mayhem and marvel. Oh, and I love to share our stories in squares on our Insta page @sweetlittlestory xxx DO YOU EVER GET THE DREADED MUM GUILT? – Maree, Gold Coast Mum guilt. (I’m certain there’s such a thing as ‘dad guilt’ too!! Maybe we should rename the catchphrase as ‘parent guilt’?! Anyway….) We all know it IS a thing. But really, it shouldn’t be! And it never used to be! Our own mothers never heard of, or talked about, or lived with ‘mum guilt’. And that’s because they weren’t BOMBARDED with social media information overload about all the trillions of ways we MUST parent. For, if we don’t parent using each and every one of those trillions of strategies, our babies will grow to be three eyed monsters who can’t function in society, and have horns growing out of the top of their spines (has anyone read that article??!! It’s apparently a thing!) All this info is nothing more than fear mongering. Sure, there’s some merit to most of that info..but with soooo much of it out there, we simply can not take it all on board and execute every suggestion (and they are just that: suggestions, not the absolute truth). It’s making us fearful that we’re not doing enough, ever. It’s making us feel guilty that we can never be all that we need to be, ever. And that’s robbing us of our joy. And mothering, on the whole, should be joyful! Yes, we need to be present with our children, but no, our kids won’t become mutes who can’t make eye contact if we reply to a text on our phone for a few minutes, or if we have a little scroll on Instagram to see who’s having a blast on their Euro holiday (everyone I’ve ever known at the moment! Take me to Greece!) And yes, we need to be teaching, leading by example, and being mindful of what we do and say, but if we need to flop on the lounge with a glass of vino and a bag of Burger Rings for a little recharge, our kids won’t become obese alcoholics because they’ve seen it! It’s like that tongue in cheek meme going around; we CANNOT give our kids EVERYTHING, and do and be ALL of the things that ALL this info is telling us we should, hence the ‘mum guilt’… I truly, utterly, 100% believe that, and at the end of the day, all they need is US. If we can give them as much of us as we can, and all of our love, the rest will surely follow… even if we do chuck one kid in front of the tv and straight-jacket the other one in the high chair so we can cook dinner. The worst mum guilt I’ve ever felt was when Valentina was 7 weeks old and my body wasn’t producing enough milk to keep her little tummy full (it actually never did right from the start, and knowing what I know now, I realise that was the one and only reason she was unsettled as a newborn, because she was starving) and I started to wonder whether I need to put her on the bottle. But I felt SO sick about it. So guilty that I was pondering the thought of giving her formula, because I KNEW BREAST IS BEST. I had full blown anxiety over it. I couldn’t sleep because of it. My stomach was in knots because of it. I spoke to my wise old granny about it and she so easily and simply said that if I don’t have enough breast milk, then it’s a simple decision! Just pop her on the bottle. It’s as easy as that! But it wasn’t an easy decision for me at all. And why?? Because I’d been BOMBARDED like a smack in the face by midwives, TV ads, community nurses, and social media articles that all said BREASTFEEDING IS BEST! Which IT IS!!! Of course it is! It’s the natural way to feed your baby. BUT, if your body, for whatever reason, can not produce enough breast milk, you’re left feeling guilty, fearful, afraid of your only other option; evil, chemical filled formula. I totally agree that breastfeeding is best. That’s a given. And it SHOULD be advertised and promoted, but perhaps there needs to be some follow up information stating something like ‘if your tits do happen to run out of milk, then feeding your newborn formula will not cause her body to shrivel to the size of a sultana. It will not cause her brain to dumb down due to chemical intake. Her immunity will remain strong enough to keep her alive, even in the middle of an Adelaide Winter. So do NOT be afraid. Go forth and FEED YOUR BABY!!!’ Now, THAT info would’ve come in real handy. Love Hayley xx @sweetlittlestory

 Mental health for new dads Mental health is an important topic of discussion whether it’s for women, men or children, and here at KIDDO we love that the lines of conversation around mental health are being opened and the stigma is lessening. We talk to Dr Grant Blashki, Lead Clinical Adviser for Beyond Blue about mental health for new dads. Bio Dr Grant Blashki is a practicing GP, the Lead Clinical Advisor for Beyond Blue, and has published numerous books and research papers about mental health. He is an active commentator in media and has given hundreds of public presentations. As the father of three grown-up children, he is committed to helping new dads traverse that exciting, and sometimes daunting, transition to fatherhood. What are the main challenges that face the “modern father” in society today? The very notion of being a father has evolved and morphed in recent decades, mostly for good. In my clinic, I see so many young fathers who are engaged with their children on a daily basis. In times past, this was rare, however these changes in roles have also brought their own pressures. For instance, social media is a relatively new phenomenon that can increase the pressure to be the perfect parent, which often paints a false representation of what parents should experience day to day. Some dads are feeling the pressure from society to still fill the traditional role of ‘the bread winner’ as well as being a hands-on father and struggling to juggle both roles. My impression is also that for many young men who are about to be fathers, there is a sense of “how can I be a father? I haven’t really got myself worked out yet.” How has the evolution of a father’s role changed the pressures on fathers these days? It’s great that dads are becoming more and more hands-on in raising their kids, we’re gradually seeing traditional gender roles for parenting soften and this stands to benefit everyone. There’s still some way to go in these changing roles being more accepted in society, but we’re moving in the right direction. Some dads today feel the stress of trying to ‘have it all’, balancing their career ambitions and being an involved parent at the same time. Which is why it’s great to see workplaces becoming more supportive than in the past with parental leave arrangements, relieving some of the pressure on mums and dads. Fathers are more hands on than ever before. Has this had a positive or negative impact on their mental health? Being involved and engaged with the raising of their children is an overwhelmingly positive thing for fathers. It promotes strong emotional connections with their child and it can really boost the dad’s sense of purpose. What are the main reasons that men will struggle when becoming a new father? Because men don’t experience all the physical changes of pregnancy and giving birth, they may not begin to feel like a dad until after the baby is born. Becoming a dad is a big change. Some main ways men can struggle include the pressure to be a ‘good parent’, relationship stress with their partner, worrying they won’t love their new baby and difficulty getting enough sleep. These adjustments come with stress which, when it builds up, can put your mental health at risk. In fact, depression affects one in 10 dads between the first trimester and the year after the baby’s birth. Anxiety conditions affect one in six dads during the pregnancy and one in five in the postnatal period. However, awareness about men’s experience of PNDA is low, with 45 per cent of fathers not aware that men can have postnatal depression and 43 per cent of first-time fathers see anxiety and depression after having a baby as a sign of weakness. What are some recommendations to get help if someone is struggling with their mental health? Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. Your GP is a great place to start, they can help find the right support for you. For soon-to-be dads, it may be helpful for you to take some time to think about how you’ve reacted to the news and talk it through with your partner. What are you worried about? What are you excited about? The main message is, talk about how you’re feeling, don’t just dwell on it by yourself. Mental health professionals are available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. Web chat is also available 3pm until midnight AEST at beyondblue.org.au/getsupport The Beyond Blue website has resources for new dads including Dadvice, and some excellent videos from the fathers discussing how they manage some of the challenges. Tips for keeping well as a new dad – Talk to your partner about how you’re both feeling – Reach out to other dads/parent groups – Beyond Blue forums might be useful – If you need help, see your GP and maybe undertake a GP Mental Health Plan – Try not to forget the small stuff – drink enough water and eat well If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings of depression and loneliness reach out beyondblue.org.au Or read our article about a Modern Day Dad’s Group in Adelaide

Co-founders of Lighthouse Youth Projects, Jamie Moore and Ryan Lloyd share a longstanding love of BMX and cycling, borne of a lifetime spent riding trails, tackling jumps, performing tricks and forming lasting friendships through a love of bikes. With a wealth of industry experience behind them and a passion for living life to the fullest, these two dads harnessed their mutual love of riding and the benefits and life skills it can bring, and created Lighthouse Youth Projects. The registered charity, volunteer supported, not-for profit organisation was founded with the vision to inspire disadvantaged young people, supporting them into positive pathways through bicycle-based mentoring and life skills programs. We chat with Jamie about the inspiration behind Lighthouse, and how they’re helping disadvantaged young people in our state and beyond. Tell us about Lighthouse Youth Projects. What inspired you to start a not-for-profit directed at helping young people? Ryan and I set up Lighthouse Youth Projects with the vision to give every child in Australia, regardless of their disadvantage, the opportunity to ride a bike with someone passionate enough to care, willing to see their potential and to encourage them to make a change for the better. I met Ryan, who is one of Australia’s best freestyle riders, while I was running a bike distribution business. We started riding together, with Ryan in a sponsored role and myself as an advocate. In 2013, Ryan broke his back overshooting a BMX jump and around the same time, my business failed. For both of us, these life changing events prompted us to really work out what mattered most. Both having a wealth of experience riding bikes, we wanted to share that with people; we wanted to create something that would enable us to pass on this love of riding and its many benefits, to the next generation of young people, particularly those with a background of disadvantage. As soon as we started working in the juvenile justice system, I truly realised that so many young lives are wasted and if someone doesn’t step in and try to help, then everybody loses, not just the child. Can you tell us what positive benefits bike riding has, and how your work helps disadvantaged kids? We believe that bicycles can change lives and be a springboard to a new, positive way of living. Riding is something that most people seem to enjoy, and a lot of people probably take the physical ability to actually ride a bike for granted. It’s not uncommon for the kids we work with to have never ridden before, or to have never had someone in their lives who was willing or able to teach them to ride a bike. Riding is the most efficient way a human can move across the earth under their own power so it’s a very effective metaphor to show positive change and encourage good habits too. Can you tell us about the programs Lighthouse offers? We are lead contractors in two federally funded programs, Cycle of Change and RIDE, which have successfully targeted youth unemployment by way of bicycle-based mentoring. These programs run every day of the week in both South Australia and Tasmania. We also run an ongoing ‘Behind Bars’ program, working with young people who have become involved with the juvenile justice system. This involves school holiday mentoring and programs to help the residents adapt better once they are on the outside, with an aim to help these kids in accessing opportunities to participate productively in the community. We also facilitate Concrete Sessions at Oaklands skate park every fortnight. These are open to the general public, bikes and helmets are available to borrow free of charge, and we welcome people to come down, have a warm meal and hang out in a stress-free environment. Can you share some success stories about kids you’ve worked with? Seeing a young man called Ben from Munno Para finally start to ride on his own after persevering and trying so hard but with limited success, was simply amazing; the look on his face is something I will never forget. Another story that springs to mind is a young person we worked with, Dale, who came to us in Cycle of Change with no idea whatsoever about “what to do with his life”. After working and riding with him for a year, he graduated the Cycle of Change program and started an apprenticeship with Aldom Motor Body Builders. He always texts me the photos of what he is working on, and this type of connection is just so rewarding for all of us. What are your personal highlights over your time mentoring disadvantaged kids? There are so many, to be honest, it’s hard to pick! I think one of the best things I can be involved in is seeing someone ride a bike on their own for the first time. It never gets old and we know that for them, the adventure is just about to start! Also seeing someone who has been involved in the juvenile justice system making a positive change and being released. For me, that’s a moment when I think “well, someone didn’t give up on that kid, and that might have been the only time that’s ever happened”. What’s coming up for Lighthouse? This year we started delivering our RIDE program in Tasmania, so for us working in another state is pretty exciting. We will also be doing a lot more Get Stoked! riding sessions across SA and TAS and that’s a great way we can connect and ride with more disadvantaged kids, hopefully spreading a positive message along the way. How can people get involved and help out with Lighthouse Youth Projects? As a volunteer driven organisation, the more hands on deck, the more opportunity we have to help as many kids as possible. We are always eager to hear from skilled professionals in their field who could have an integral role in helping us to help others. We encourage people to

Dads supporting dads If you were to walk into a pub and see a group of guys sitting at the bar, craft beer in hand, shooting the breeze and having a laugh, you could be forgiven for assuming they’re a footy team having end of season drinks, or old mates from Uni catching up. What might not spring to mind immediately, is that this group of blokes is actually a dad support group, chatting about fatherhood, life with young children, changing relationship roles and the highs and lows of supporting their partners through the early, hazy days of parenting and beyond. But, that’s exactly what happens every week at the Wheatsheaf, where a group of Adelaide dads have formed their own dads’ group; having regular catch-ups to connect with other fathers, discuss parenting issues, and learn from the experiences of other dads. Across the country, thousands of mums meet regularly for mothers’ group, many of us attributing our sanity through the long, nebulous days of early parenting to having a support network around us, of other women with a shared experience. In this day and age, men are more connected with family life, taking a more active and hands on role in parenting than ever before, but these types of networks are rarely geared toward fathers; dads who may be looking for similar avenues of support and the opportunity to swap notes and connect with others experiencing the same challenges. Meet James Age: 36 Occupation: Owner of Dirty Deeds Produce Marketing Kiddos: Paloma 3, Fleur 2 Loves: Surfing and drinking wine Husband to: Clare We chat with James, dadvocate and one of the founding members of local Adelaide Dad Support Group, about how having a support network of other fathers has affected his journey through parenthood. James encourages Adelaide dads to reach out to The Dad Support Group and come along, or check in with dad mates and find a time to get together and chat about all things fatherhood. How long has your dad group been meeting? The Dad Support Group has been around for a few years, some of the core members had kids nearly four years ago and caught up casually. The current iteration which includes new members, some first dads and soon-to-be dads, has been going a few months now. I think the regularity is a key aspect, it’s so easy to let dates and events slip past with kids because of competing schedules and the general madness of parenthood. What have been the benefits of creating the group? They’re bigger than I imagined. Men, typically like to interact side by side with a task to focus on. This gives us a bit of an ‘out’ when it comes to discussing anything of real depth. In this case, we come together with a single question or topic to discuss. It happens eventually, after a heap of chat about the usual (footy/life/work) and we often discuss a particular topic for an hour or more. It offers a platform to share, listen and discuss issues around being a Dad and a supportive partner. My kids are older than a lot of the fathers in the group and I think some of the biggest benefits have come to the guys who are new to being a parent, or about to become one. It’s great to pass some of this on, as this lived experience is so fresh for some of us. What are the main things that shocked you when you became a father? This was a topic of one of our chats actually! For me it’s happened slowly, but after having our second child I’d say how relentless parenting is. It’s very hard to find time for self-care and more structured opportunities are needed, otherwise you can really struggle. What information would you give to expecting dads? Not to listen to the Dads that feel it’s a rite of passage to freak them out with lazy comments like ‘what have you done?’ or ‘you’re in trouble now, mate’. I mean, I’ve said this stuff in moments of weakness but honestly, the advice I’d give is to be excited! Being a dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d also say be super supportive and present during the pregnancy and beyond; the experience you have after the arrival of your first bub won’t come again, it’s the best time to indulge in the journey. What do you think are the main pressures on modern dads? Firstly, I’d like to say the pressures on both parties has increased and I don’t want to discount the experience of the modern mother. Having said that, I think there’s a lot more expected of modern dads in relation to child rearing and tasks within the household. This obviously takes away from the things that dads traditionally did to wind-down and decompress. I really think that we need to talk more about dads; their mental health, pressures, expectations and opportunities for self-care. What is the best thing about being a dad? The other day my three-year-old said ‘when I grow up, I’m going to get a step dad’, I’m not sure if she knows something I don’t, but we had a good laugh. I’d say the best thing is that regardless of the day you’ve had, be it work or even challenges with the kids, it can all be washed away by a single moment of love or laughter provided by the little ones. My kids are at an age where I get lots of affection and they say some hilarious stuff daily. I’ve never laughed so much or dished out and received so many kisses. Have you come across any misconceptions about parenting? I guess that everyone’s experience is the same. Before parenthood I probably would’ve assumed it was a pretty uniform experience, but sleeping habits, health of children and parents, location and support from family really changes your experience. Have you seen a difference in yourself as a

Local Adelaide lady, Tamara Whittaker, is using her grief and suffering after heartbreakingly losing her son at 5 and a half months gestation, to raise awareness and help others through the indescribable trauma and grief of loss. Tamara has proudly written, illustrated and printed Born To Fly, a beautifully and delicately written story that aims to offer comfort and explain the feelings that may be associated with the loss of a baby, or sibling. Tamara’s driving force behind writing the story and making it widely available was to provide hope and comfort, and ultimately strength through unity. By opening up the lines of communication and sharing the reality of loss, it alleviates the stigma and silence. Born To Fly is written through the eyes of a child and not only invokes a sense of comfort, hope and understanding for parents, but can also provide incredible comfort for siblings who have gone through the experience with their parents yet may not have the capabilities of processing their feelings. Children understand stories through pictures better than verbal explanations. A picture book is comforting and can offer insight and explanations in what can be a very confusing and confronting time for children, and by having a story read to them, it allows them to make sense of what’s happening, their feelings and digest the information through pictures. This beautiful book needs to be in the hands of everyone who has ever experienced the loss of a baby or child, or knows someone who has. Born to Fly is available online at tamaraj.com.au and in-store at Dymocks. @borntofly_picturebook