WORDS: Madhavi Nawana Parker, Positive Minds Australia

Gosh I love doing nothing. I could honestly sit in our back garden and stare into space for hours, content with nothing more than the sound of the birds and swish of the trees. With my husband and three children, extended family, Groodle, Ragdoll, very fun friends, full-time job, business, exercise and a sneaky habit of scrolling art and homewares on Instagram, there’s rarely a moment to do my favourite thing, nothing. When I make time for nothing, my cup refills and I can throw my heart and soul right back into everything I love, all the things I just mentioned, without exhaustion.

As summer approaches, families often feel the subtle pressure to fill the calendar. Holiday programs, playdates, day trips, and activities to keep children busy. 

What if one of the greatest gifts we can give them is the opposite? A slow, spacious summer? Time to move through the discomfort of boredom into the peace of nothingness. 

A season where children have time to rest deeply, explore freely, get bored enough to ignite curiosity and creativity, and most importantly, reconnect with themselves and us. The science is clear: doing less supports our children’s brains, emotions, and far more than a holiday packed with activities where someone else does the thinking and planning for them.

The neuroscience of doing nothing 

Children’s brains are under more demand than ever with school, screens, social expectations, and information overload. When they finally stop, the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN) activates. As the brain’s “rest and recharge” system, the DMN switches on during unstructured time, while daydreaming, relaxing through quiet moments staring out of a window, in gentle play, creative tinkering, or simply lying on the grass. When the DMN lights up children process emotions, consolidate learning, spark creativity, and build overall wellbeing by giving their busy brains essential downtime to reset.

A slow summer gives this network the very best chance to do its job.

Practical ways to support restorative “nothing time”

1. Build a daily “reset window.”
   Introduce a new routine of 20 minutes to an hour each day where nothing is planned. No instructions, no outcomes. Just pottering, resting, wandering.
2. Create a cosy rest nook.
   A corner with cushions, books, soft toys, sensory objects, or simply quiet space. When children have a place for calm, they tend to use it more.
3. Swap transitions for breathing space and “float time.”
   Instead of rushing from breakfast to bags to outings, allow 10 minutes of “float time” between things. This helps the nervous system downshift.
4. Model rest yourself.
   Sit with a cup of tea, stretch, lie on the couch with a book. Children learn that rest is valued when we show it and oh how I love to show it. 

Practical ways to create unstructured time 

1. Keep mornings or afternoons completely free several times a week.
   Let the day evolve organically. Children often find their own rhythm if given time.
2. Use “open invitations” rather than activities.
   Place a few items in accessible baskets or trays like LEGO, dress-ups, nature items (sticks, shells, pinecones), art materials and puzzles. Don’t explain. Don’t direct. Let curiosity lead.
3. Bring back the eighties childhood and let them go out for unstructured play with friends on foot, bikes, and scooters.
   Confidence builds through competence and the feeling of ‘I did that without an adult!’ is a massive leap in independence for a young person when they are ready.
4. Hold back from stepping in too early.
   If children are negotiating rules or struggling to decide on a game, give them a few minutes to work it out. This is where social and emotional skills develop, together, with each other, in real time, using their ideas, not ours. Hold off getting involved unless there is a safety concern. 

Practical ways to encourage daydreaming

1. Protect tech-free pockets each day.
   Time without TV, tablets or phones gives the mind a chance to wander.
2. Offer “quiet choice time.” Invite them to choose a quiet activity and stick with it on their own for a while. This primes their nervous system for mind wandering. You can be nearby Role modelling your own quiet moment.
3. Create nature pauses. Sit under a tree, lie on a picnic blanket, watch clouds, listen to birds, watch ants. Nature naturally induces daydreaming and calm.
4. Reduce noise pollution. Turn off background TV. Lower music. Create silent minutes. Children’s brains need stillness to drift inward.

Practical ways to make boredom helpful 

1. Respond with confidence, not solutions.
   “I get it. Boredom is uncomfortable, but I trust you’ll figure out what to do.”
2. Keep simple materials visible.
   Cardboard, tape, markers, blankets, balls. All the things that encourage creativity without dictating play.
3. If they complain, stay nearby but don’t direct.
   Your calm, grounded presence helps them tolerate discomfort long enough for creativity to kick in. Don’t lecture with the old, ‘when I was a child, all I had to play with was dirt,’ routine, because they will respond with a reminder of just how old you must be if that’s really the case (and who wants that reminder anyway)? Not me.  

PRO TIP: Reframing boredom as a positive state 

Boredom is not a failure or a sign of poor parenting. It is a transition point where the brain switches from external stimulation to internal creativity. When children feel bored, the brain is nudging them toward imagination, innovation, and self-direction.

Practical ways to make lazy days work 

1. Slow starts.
   Let them stay in pyjamas, eat slowly, and start the day without rushing. This sets a calm tone for the whole day.
2. Rest after excitement.
   If you’ve had a big day out, protect the next morning or afternoon as a quiet one.
3. Build a family rhythm board.
   Use simple icons for a slow day; an adventure day; a rest morning; a play afternoon.
   This helps children anticipate the pace of the day, reducing anxiety and meltdowns.
4. Default to simple activities.
   Walks, picnics, water play, library visits, backyard time, nature play and any activities without overstimulation or travel are perfect. 

PRO TIP: Lazy days as regulation days 

A child’s behaviour often improves when their nervous system is regulated. Lazy days with slow mornings, pottering afternoons, and early nights, help our children’s stress systems settle and recover, preventing emotional overload, supporting stable moods, better attention, and smoother behaviour.

Practical ways to build connection through slowness

Children feel closest to adults who are available, emotionally attuned and calm, not necessarily those who provide the most entertainment.

In slow moments, children open up. They show us their inner world. They seek closeness. They ask big questions or share small worries. A slow summer gives more opportunities for these moments to arise naturally. 

1. Create micro connection moments.
   A two-minute cuddle. A chat and a snack. Share a memory from yours or their childhood. Snuggle around a family photo album. Sit together while reading. Bird watch, butterfly spot and slater bug seek.

2. Make “side-by-side time” part of the routine.
   Children often talk more when side by side. Car rides, washing dishes together, gardening, colouring in and walking the dog are perfect opportunities for them to open up.
3. Put your phone down often and especially during “golden moments.”
   When your phone is in your hand and your child is reaching out for connection, continuing to look at your phone says, ‘whatever is on this phone is more important than you. Yikes.Protect these moments every day with your device as far from you as possible: Moments when they first wake up, during mealtimes, when they’re telling you a story and at bedtime.These small but mighty windows matter.

4. Create simple, repeatable family rituals to anchor your child emotionally.
   Friday night board games, Sunday pancakes, Taco Tuesdays, Winter camping and Friday night bike rides.

A slow summer builds emotional health. 

A slow summer is not laziness, neglect or wasted time. It is a deliberate, nurturing choice backed by neuroscience and child development research.

Slow summers help children regulate emotions, process life events, expand creativity, strengthen relationships, build resilience, discover their interests, grow independence, and develop self-worth. These are not “bonuses” in childhood, they are the foundations of lifelong wellbeing.

A final word from me to you. 

I love my children with every cell in my body. They know that other than my absolute thrill and excitement every time I see them (where I act like I haven’t seen them in seven months), and my enthusiasm to listen to whatever they want to tell me about, I’m otherwise pretty darn boring to be around. I’m fully present with them, but I am far from entertaining. Parents, you don’t need to organise magic, being alive is the magic. Being loved is the magic, your presence is the magic. They don’t need full days of entertainment. You don’t need to be everything.

What your child needs most this summer is:

Your presence. Your calm energy. Your belief in them. Your willingness to slow down. And a little bit of space to simply be. 

Let this be the summer of gentle days, creative minds, emotional growth, and deep connection.

A summer where doing nothing becomes one of the most powerful things you can do.

With love and my very best wishes always, 

Madhavi xx

Learn more at positivemindsaustralia.com.au

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