WORDS: Madhavi Nawana Parker, Child and Youth Specialist and Director at Positive Minds Australia
What we eat, and how we eat matters.
As a pleasure seeking, pain avoiding species, children who are going through a hard time and don’t have the appropriate tools to manage and cope with their emotions, might find themselves using food to help regulate their emotions. When those foods are not nutrient dense, over time, a poor diet can in turn affect their emotional state.
While no child is happy and calm all the time, when they are in a positive emotional state, there isn’t any need to shift emotional gears. Feeling good feels good. When uncomfortable emotions like boredom, anxiety, sadness, and frustration kick in, taste-oriented foods that are quick and easy to get a hold of, with high salt, sugar and calories, low nutrients can bring short-term pleasure to distract from discomfort.
Most adults can relate to feeling bored or upset by something and heading straight for the fridge instead of using an emotional regulation tool. Doing this occasionally does not mean there is a problem, but doing this daily, for long periods of time might be an indicator of emotional eating.
Food has a significant impact on a child’s emotional regulation, behaviour, and mood. So what can parents do?
1. Differentiate between emotional dysregulation from hunger and eating for comfort and emotional regulation
Emotional dysregulation from hunger looks like low energy and fatigue, cranky moods, having a tricky time concentrating, a rumbly tummy and even headaches. Emotional eating can include hiding or sneaking food, eating while distracted (gaming/studying/watching TV), turning to food when upset or sad, cravings following a trigger and unexpected, excessive weight gain.
If you aren’t sure, it’s always a good idea to touch base with your child’s GP and if you are worried about their diet and eating habits, seek advice from a qualified paediatric dietician who can help. Emotional eating can cause long term difficulties later in life so early intervention is always best.
2. See if you can identify what might be going on emotionally for your child
Understanding their triggers and challenges is important. Afterall, you’re the person they rely on most in the world for their emotional wellbeing. The best way to do this is through regular, warm, and mutually respectful conversations. Make time when you can, to give them your undivided attention. Even just 15 minutes a day of interrupted time can create a foundation that opens the lines of communication so when you really need to know what’s going on, they’re already in the habit of talking openly and freely. Spending quality time together and taking the time to build and strengthen your connection will never be wasted.
3. Set clear routines and boundaries around food and mealtimes
Try to sit together for meals and make meals a positive experience. You can have some fun with mindful eating, teaching your child to slow down and pay close attention to the taste and texture of what they’re eating and allow them to stop eating when they are full, instead of the expectation to finish everything on their plate.
4. Avoid negative commentaries about food and weight gain
If your child is using food to regulate their emotions, observe and ask neutral questions about how they are going and feeling, rather than making a note of weight gain or their eating habits. Seek help from a professional.
5. Make sure your child knows how to regulate their emotions
Knowing how to calm down in healthy and constructive ways is a crucial life skill that will benefit them at every stage and season of life. Emotional regulation styles are personal, so make sure you ask more questions than giving all the answers.
6. Understand which foods they need most
Omega-3 Fatty Acids found in fish, flaxseed and walnuts are vital for brain development and have even been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in children and adolescents. B vitamins found in eggs, whole grains, legumes are essential for energy and mood regulation. Magnesium, found in leafy greens, nuts and seeds also impact mood and studies have shown low levels of magnesium can increase magnesium. Research into the gut-brain axis emphasises the importance of probiotics and fibre rich foods to create a healthy gut microbiome and reduce anxiety and improve mood.
7. Reduce and limit their access to sugary, processed foods
These types of foods can cause spikes and crashes in blood sugar levels, leading to mood swings, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. For children who already struggle with emotional regulation and concentration, the impact is more significant.
As always, trust your intuition and when you aren’t sure, it’s always okay to ask for help. It takes a village to raise a child.
Love, Madhavi
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