WORDS: Mikaela Howell, Spot Paediatrics Speech Pathologist
Building your child’s skills starts with a strong sense of connection. Here are some ways to strengthen that bond:
1. Validate their feelings
When children experience big emotions, they just want to feel seen, heard, and supported.
Sometimes, a child’s reaction or feelings about a situation might not align with those of the adults in their lives. This can lead to the child’s feelings being dismissed, leaving them feeling confused or even more upset. Children’s feelings are valid and deserve respect.
When your child shares their feelings with you, give them your full attention and listen. Acknowledge their feelings and show understanding, e.g., “Oh, that must have been so frustrating for you!” Help them work through their feelings.
2. Co-regulate
Children experience intense emotions many times throughout the day, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to understand and process these feelings on their own. They need the adults in their lives to sit with them in these moments and provide the language, tools, and support to help them regulate.
Children first learn self-regulation by being supported through co-regulation. They can’t achieve self-regulation without first experiencing it alongside a caring adult.
3. Make time for play and let your child take the lead
Play is how children learn. Set aside time each day to play with your child and let them decide what and how they play.
Get down on the floor with them to show you’re engaged and interested in their ideas. Sometimes, your child may want you to join the play; other times, they may prefer you to simply watch.
If you’re not directly involved in the play, you can talk about what you see happening or suggest ideas. Your child might take on your suggestions—or they might not—and that’s okay.
4. Look for the little things
A small gesture, a fleeting look, a smile, a noise, reaching out, moving closer or away, tapping, or banging an object—these are all ways your child might be communicating.
Pay attention to these subtle cues and respond to them. Model the words or language you think your child might be trying to express in those moments.
5. If it’s a no, how could it be a yes?
What part of your child’s idea could you say yes to? Are you saying no to something, like playing with glitter or playdough, just
because it could make a mess? Could you turn this into a yes?
For example, you could allow glitter or playdough play outside instead. Consider how often your child might hear “no” or “stop” throughout the day. Instead, try offering alternatives, like, “We don’t have time to go to the playground today, but we can go after school tomorrow” instead of, “No, we’re not going to the playground today.”
If you have concerns about your child’s communication development, speak to your CAFS nurse during your child’s development checks, consult your GP about accessing a Medicare Plan for private services, or give us a call.
Find Spot Paediatrics at Level 1, 360 Brighton Road, Hove or go to @spotpaediatrics.
