The ‘invisible’ mental load of schooling

A woman wearing a striped shirt smiles warmly at the camera.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mum of three—Year 8 twins and a daughter in Year 5—it’s that school isn’t just about the kids.

By Liv Williams, Editor educate, KIDDO and FIFTY+SA

It’s a full-time operation, a never-ending to-do list that somehow grows longer even as you tick things off. Add in a shift-working husband, multiple sports and music commitments, and my role as editor of KIDDO, Educate, and FIFTY+SA, and let’s just say the mental load is real.

Between tracking assignments, remembering permission slips, managing uniforms (where do all the socks go?), and deciphering ever-changing school apps, modern parenting can sometimes feel like an extreme sport. We juggle lunchbox requests like short-order chefs, become reluctant Uber drivers for endless extracurriculars, and transform into project managers ensuring everyone gets where they need to be, with the right gear, on time.

But here’s the kicker: a lot of this work is invisible. It’s not just about doing the tasks—it’s about thinking about them, anticipating needs, and carrying the emotional weight of our kids’ academic and social lives. The mental gymnastics of knowing who has an excursion when, whether that overdue library book is actually lost, and how to help with Year 8 algebra (without having a personal meltdown) can be exhausting.

So how do we manage the pressure without losing our sanity? The short answer: sometimes we don’t. But over time, I’ve found a few tricks that help lighten the load.

Mental load survival guide

  • Outsource where you can – Whether it’s a shared family calendar, a meal delivery service, or just getting the kids to pack their own bags (groundbreaking), don’t be afraid to delegate.
  • Embrace imperfection – The world won’t end if you forget a casual day gold coin donation. (Your child will remind you repeatedly, though.)
  • Set limits on school comms – Not every email needs an instant response. Designate times to check school apps and messages, rather than being constantly on call.
  • Lean on your village – Carpool with other parents, trade favours, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

 

At the end of the day, we’re all just doing our best to keep the wheels turning. And if all else fails? There’s always coffee. Or wine. Maybe both.

 

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